Welcome home
by RueM
Summary: "Greyback took everything from me: my family, my childhood, my friends…but it was me. I allowed him to take you from me…" "Have you come here to apologize?" He looked real pale and sad. The corner of his mouth turned down, his arms folded as if he was holding himself. Looking at him, she realized, was like staring into a mirror..."I've hated you for so long… I can't forgive you."
1. Chapter 1

The smell of chocolate wafted in his direction "Can I help you, sweetheart?"

"Huh? No." the woman answered absent-mindedly "I have everything under control."

"Are you sure?" Ted frowned, looking at her who was standing on the chair searching for something on the top shelf "What are you looking for?"

"My recipe books."

The man looked around. It was like being in the middle of an unusual battle field. The dished were piled up in the sink, the kettle was whistling, the oven was turned on. "Do we have dinner guests?"

"No." Andromeda answered putting back a box of sea salt "Why?"

"'cause you've been cooking for hours." Ted looked at the bowl of mashed potatoes, the pork roast with apple sauce, the herbed Yorkshire Pudding on the table. "There is enough food for ten people."

"Your daughter spends all day at work and I wan…"

After 28 years of marriage Ted knew when she was stressed out. "You need to take a rest, love. "he said holding out his hand to her. "I know you are worried about Nymphadora but she…"

"She is my child, Ted." Andromeda interrupted him "She will always be the little girl who used to climb the apple tree in the back garden. "

A sad smile appeared on his face "Nymphadora is no longer a child." He tucked a lock of her black hair behind her ear "She is back home, but she will not hide under her bed during a storm. She will no longer call your name after a nightmare."

"I know that, but…"

Someone rang the doorbell.

Ted looked at the clock on the wall. It was too late to receive visitors.

* * *

"Hi." the man on the porch said, "No. Don't do this, please." he hurried to add as he saw the other man about to close the door. "Please!"

Ted had never met him before, but he knew exactly who the man on the porch was. He stared him up and down taking note of his grey hair, of his scars, of his old cloak. It was all Lupin's fault, Ted thought. Because of him his daughter had lost part of her powers. Because of him Nymphadora hadn't laugh for months, her hair had become grey as her mood. But something in Lupin's eyes stopped him from chasing him away "What do you want?"

Lupin breathed a sigh of relief. "I need to talk to Nymp…"

"She doesn't want to talk to you." Ted could no longer contain his hostility.

"I know I've made a mess of my life. I got everything wrong." Lupin lowered his gaze to the floor for a second or two then he looked up at Ted "But I'm in love wit…"

"Shut up!" Ted cried out "How dare you say such a thing?" he regretted not having his wand in the pocket of his jeans "I've never understood what my daughter saw in you. Nymphadora would have done everything for you. For a werewolf! And you…" He showed his contempt for Lupin "you've broken her heart!"

"I've broken my heart too!" Lupin replied realizing he had never said those words to anyone before "For all my life I believed I did not deserve to be loved but then I met Nymphadora. You're right. I am a werewolf and I will never be worthy of her, but..."

"She doesn't even want to hear your name."

"Well," He knew Ted hated him, but he was so afraid of seeing the man closing the door that he couldn't stop talking "if she doesn't want to talk to me, I'll go away, and you will never hear my name again. But let her know I am here, please. Please!" he took a step towards Ted touching his arm "Tell Nymphadora I need to talk to her. I beg you!"

Lupin seemed so hopeless that Ted didn't have the heart to say no. "She is not at home."

"It doesn't matter. I'll wait." He sat on the steps, his heart began to run. He didn't know if she would talk to him but now he had hope. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me." Ted turned his back to him. He took a step but then stopped again. "Come inside. I don't want my neighbours start asking questions about you." The wooden steps creaked when Lupin stood up "I'm warning you, my wife won't welcome you."

* * *

"Mom?" Tonks closed the door and dropped her bag on the floor "Dad?"

It had been a long day. Dozens of wizards and witches had crowded the Atrium of the Ministry demanding explanations for what was happening. At least nobody had tried to stop her. People were still afraid of the small silver 'A' on her uniform. The good smell of roast and chocolate cake made her stomach growling. She followed the smell. The lights in the kitchen were on but there was no one in the room. "I'm home." Tonks took a small slice of cake, it was still warm. "Mom?" she called again listening to the odd silence. A little shiver ran down her spine. "Dad?" she called fingering the wand on the right pocket of her trousers as she went back in the corridor.

"Dora," Ted appeared from the dining room "when did you come back?"

"Five minutes ago." she couldn't help but notice the strange look on her father's face. He seemed concerned about something. "Did you not hear me?"

The man glanced briefly back at the dining room then apologised "No. I am sorry, dear." he come up to her "How was your day?"

Something strange was happening, Tonks had no doubt. "My day…" she looked at him standing in the middle of the corridor, blocking the way. He was trying to hide something. "What were you doing?"

"I was reading the newspaper. The radio was turned on and…"

Her father had never been able to lie "What's going on?"

Ted took a deep breath. "Sweetheart…" he called, trying to keep her from coming in the dining room.

For a long moment Tonks looked at the man who was sitting at the fireplace saying nothing. "What is he doing here?" she asked in a softly inquisitive voice.

Lupin stood up "Ton…"

"Why is he here?" the girl asked again turning her back on him. She could feel his hurt glare on her shoulders, but she ignored it. Her pulse quickened, her head was fuzzy.

"Your father let him in." Andromeda answered in a flatly voice then she turned to face out her husband showing her disapproval.

"Dad…" Tonks whispered, completely baffled. She couldn't believe her ears.

Lupin took a step towards her. "He tried to kick me out…"

"Well," Tonks replied looking at her father "he should have tried harder!"

"Love," the man whispered running his hand through her short hair "you have all right to hate him and I'll cast a spell on him right now if it is what you want." He put his finger under her chin and made her look at him "Do you really want me to do that?"

There was a sinking sensation in her stomach and for a moment Tonks thought that seeing him suffer would make her feeling better "No."

"I think you should talk to him." A faint smile creased Ted's lips. "If you change your mind, I'll be happy to kick him out." He added, holding her hands "But don't let your anger control you or you'll regret it for all your life."

"Dad…"

"I'll be in the kitchen with your mother." Ted kissed her forehead "Come with me, Andromeda."

"What?" Andromeda exclaimed, astonished.

"They need to talk. Give them some privacy."

Lupin looked at Ted in surprise. He didn't know what the man had said to Tonks but, whatever it had been, Lupin was grateful for it. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me." The man replied glancing at his daughter for the last time before leaving the room.

* * *

There was a deep silence broken only by the ticking of the clock on the wall. Lupin had never felt so uncomfortable. For days he had thought of what he would have told her, he had feared she would not have given him the chance to speak. Looking at her back, his whole-body trembling, he couldn't find his voice.

"What do you want?" she asked harshly.

"I…" he said clearing his throat but then he stopped again "can you look at me, please?"

Her father's words echoed in her ears, but now that they were alone it would have been hard to control her feelings. She tried to shut out the thoughts that came crowding in on her "Say what you came to say."

Lupin took a deep breath then cleared his throat again. "When Dumbledore asked me to spy…" he shifted his weight from one foot to the other feeling ill at ease "I…I can't" he snorted then he came up to her and touched her shoulder "Nymphadora, ple…."

Hearing that name, feeling his hand on her shoulder, it was the last straw. She turned and slapped him in the face. "My name is Tonks."

She looked at him with such eyes that Lupin had to avert his gaze. Neither said anything for a second or two until he broke the silence "I'm sorry."

"You are sorry." She echoed. "What are you sorry for? For calling me Nymphadora? For preferring a suicide mission to me? For…"

"I told myself that you would have had a better life without me, that you would have found a man worth of you." Lupin said starring at her fingers which she was wriggling. "I am a werewolf…"

"Yeah, I know." She exclaimed laughing nervously "You are a werewolf. You are too old for me, too dangerous for me, too poor for me." She walked back towards the door "I should have listen to you when you first said it."

"I was wrong, Tonks! I can't change what I am, I can't turn back time, but I wish I could." Lupin replied fearing she would open the door and tell him to go away "I tried hard to get over you, but I can't. I can't forget you. I don't want you t…"

"You're a liar!" she cried out, choking, fighting back the tears. "In almost a year you have never sent me a message. You made me think you were dead!"

* * *

"Love…"

"Don't call me love, Ted!" Andromeda hissed at her husband taking another stalk of celery from the fridge. "How could you do that to our daughter?"

"She is unhappy and…"

"I know it!" she cried out starting to chop celery "I can feel her sadness, her nerves. All she needs is to forget that…that man" she looked at him, her eyes full of anger "And you let him in. You let hi…"

Ted sighed. He hated arguing with her but sometimes Andromeda was overprotective "Dora is talking with him 'cause she wants to. Maybe he'll get what you think he deserves. Maybe not. But…"

"How can you stand up for him?"

"I'm not defending him."

"Yes, you are!" Andromeda replied, astounded. "If I were you, I would never let him speak. I wouldn't have hesitated before chasing him away. I wouldn't have hesitated before casting a sp…"

"Do you even listen to yourself?" Ted asked as he approached "You sound like your father. The first time I met your parents you mother refused to speak to me. Your father told me I was not worth of you. He told me that people like me are like spots of mud on a new pair of leather boots. He pointed his wand to me and…"

"My parents are crazy." She remembered well that day. She left home with Ted and never came back "I'm not like them."

"Of course, you're not. Otherwise I wouldn't be here now." Ted replied, smiling "You have a big heart Andromeda and you will never judge somebody by his appearance."

"I'm not judging him by his appearance. I'm judging him by his actions."

"It's not up to us to judge Lupin. Let's Dora do it. "

Ted was talking sense, but she was too angry to understand. "Why are you giving him this chance?"

From the very first moment they had put his beautiful little girl in his arms Ted had vowed to do everything he could to make her happy even if it meant putting aside his hard feelings. Lupin was too old for Nymphadora, he had nothing to offer to her. "I don't know." He answered running his fingers through his hair. Lupin knew that he would not have been welcome in that house, but he had gone there anyway. He had thought it was worth trying. "Lupin had run away. Why did he come back? For what he knew Nymphadora could have cast a stunning spell on him or worse, but he begged me to let him talk to her. Why?" he asked and felt she was understanding where his thoughts were.

"Maybe you're right." He had always had the ability to calm her down. "But if I'll see Nymphadora crying…"

"It will be my fault." Ted kissed her quickly "If Lupin hurts Dora, I'll made him pay for it. Trust me."

"I've always trusted you." Andromeda said, taking a carrot and sitting at the table as he started cutting the vegetables.

* * *

Only a few hours before he had been there, looking up at the house which he had known had to be Tonks', trying to find the courage to ring the bell. When he had seen Nymphadora turning her back on him his heart had sank. He hadn't ever been so scared in his life. There had been angry tears in her eyes. A feeling of emptiness had followed like he had been falling down a pitch-black hole.

His cheek was smarting from her slap. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't even think. "I wish things were different" Remus whispered, looking away while wearing his cloak.

She kept frowning at him as he walked towards the door but then a shiver went down her spine. Suddenly she realized she couldn't bear the thought of him leaving again. She couldn't bear the thought of being the one who was sending him away. "It's true?"

Her voice was little more than a whisper, but it echoed inside his head "What?"

"All that you've said." Her eyes lingered on him, on his hair, a bit too long, on his pale face, on his shaking hands.

"Every single word." He could feel his heart bumping, a knot in the pit of his stomach. "I have no right to ask you to understand my choices, but" he seemed to gather his courage and lifted his gaze to meet hers. "I thought I had no other way to protect you."

"Protect me…" she muttered feeling the adrenaline pumping through her veins clouding her mind "I didn't need your protection then, and I don't need your protection n…"

"I know. But I can't help doing it." Lupin said, "When I heard what had happened to Bill, when I saw him lying unconscious on the bed, I thought th..." he took a step towards her then he stopped again "If only Greyback had known about you, he would have searched for you and …" Lupin sighed closing his eyes for a moment "I have always thought that leaving you was the only way to protect you. Now I realize that I was wrong." He cleared his throat trying to control his breath. "Greyback took everything from me: my family, my childhood, my friends…but it was me. I allowed him to take you from me…"

"Have you come here to apologize?" He looked real pale and sad. The corner of his mouth turned down, his arms folded as if he was holding himself. Looking at him, she realized, was like staring into a mirror. "I've hated you for leaving me without a word, for making every single decision on your own. I've hated you for so long…" Her head felt like it was going to split in two, her heart was heavy, her stomach twisting into knots. "I can't forgive you."

Lupin opened his mouth but couldn't find his voice. Tears filled his eyes, blurring his vision "I understand." He whispered in a dull tone of voice.

Her mind was saying one thing, but her heart was telling her another. Tonks shook her head and silenced them. Perhaps it would have been the biggest mistake of her life, but she had to try. "I can't forgive you" she reached out and grabbed his arm keeping him from going away "because I've already forgiven you. From the moment I saw you running down the hallway." She could feel his pulse racing "All I wanted was to know that you were alive. It was enough." Tonks took a deep breath, her heart beating fast "I' m mad at you. I've never been so angry in my life… Last week, when I saw you, I thought my eyes were deceiving me. I told you that I love you and you ran away as fast as you could." She touched his cheek gently, making him meet her eyes. "I love you Remus and I don't mind if you are a werewolf. I don't mind if Greyback will chase me. I don't need your protection. I need you by my side."

Lupin stared at her for a moment amazed and puzzled at the same time, asking himself if it was real. The touch of her hand was so soft that it could easily have been a dream. He knew he didn't deserve a second chance. He knew he would never deserve her. She was clever, talented, kind, funny...beautiful. She was all he had ever longed for, Lupin thought sighing and rubbing his cheek against her palm. His arm went around her, hugging her tight, his mouth pressed into her grey brown hair as he whispered, "I'm sorry, love. I'm so sorry for what I've done to you."

It was not the first time he was hugging her but that time his hug was different. He had always been too afraid of… Tonks had never really understood of what until that moment. "Say it again."

Lupin had always taken under control his emotions and had never understood how much he'd missed this, the sense of freedom. Surrendering to his feelings, saying the words he had been holding back for too long, he felt alive like never before "I love you, Nymphadora." He rested his forehead against hers and looked straight into her eyes. "I'll never leave you again. I promise you."

In that moment Tonks liked even how her name sounded coming from his lips. A smile appeared on her face. "Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus."

* * *

The dining room's door opened again. Andromeda recognized the unmistakable sound of Tonks' approaching steps on the wooden floor and she turned towards the door just in time to see her daughter appearing at the door.

"I asked Remus to stay for dinner."

Ted put down the knife. He can't help but notice Tonks had called Lupin by name. Maybe he had been right, the man thought. "As you wish, darling."

"I…" the girl hesitated, looking at her mother who was sitting with an inscrutable look on her face "I asked him to move in here."

The wooden legs of the chair make a scraping noise on the floor as Andromeda stood up. Her lips compressed into a thin line.

"Andromeda." Ted whispered fearing his wife reaction. He thought he knew what she was thinking about. Perhaps she could tolerate Lupin for a couple of hours, but she would never let him play with her daughter feelings again. "Dora, I th.."

"I'm going to get the guest room ready." Andromeda said leaving the room while Lupin was entering "Your room will be ready in five minutes." She added glaring at him like a dragon at a cage, making no attempt to hide her discontent.


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for your reviews! Tonks and Lupin are my favourite characters and I hope I'm not boring you with my fan fiction._

"Any news from the giants?"

"They may prefer not to take sides. They trusted Dumbledore's word but now…"

"They think we can't defeat Voldemort without Dumbledore." Moody snorted, seeing tears in Minerva's eyes. "It's impossible to reason with the giants. We will do better without them." He cut short.

"We need their help." Hestia Jones replied, "We need all the help we can get."

"We can't count on the Aurors or on the Mini…" Kingsley began to say

"What did the centaurs say?"

"I will never put my life in the hands of centaurs and goblins." Mundungus Fletcher stood up trying to drown out the noisy voices.

"You can'…"

Lupin closed his eyes and started to rub his temples. It was their first meeting after Dumbledore's death. They were unprepared and outnumbered. They needed a leader someone able to put all the pieces together, someone able to make them work together. Minerva would have been a good leader if…

"Have you had the chance to talk with the werewolves?"

The asymmetrical shape of The Burrow appeared suddenly in front of her. It was getting dark and the warm light of the sunset was casting long shadows across the ground. A thin spiral of smoke was rising from one of the chimneys and the light in the sitting room was turned on. The gravel crunched under her feet as she walked towards the door.

"Hi, Fred!" the girl smiled at him, who had opened the door at her knock. "Has the meeting already started?

"Not yet." He said helping her with her cloak. "We are waiting for Emmeline and Sturgis."

"Well." She murmured to herself "I think I couldn't stand one of Moody speeches about the importance of arriving on ti… What's wrong?" Tonks couldn't help but notice the strange look on her friend's face and suddenly became serious "Has something happened? How is Bill doing?"

"Bill is feeling better. At least he says so." Fred looked instinctively at the staircase, guessing what she was thinking about. "Even if he's been acting really weird since yesterday evening."

"How will you contact them?"

"I haven't thought about it, yet." Lupin said looking at the map. He had no proofs, but he was sure that the werewolves had moved their campsite to another location. "I'll come up with something …"

"It's crazy!" Arthur said shaking his head, pushing the maps away with an impatient gesture "It was a foolish idea from t…"

"What does it matter?" Mundungus exclaimed, interrupting the other man "Even if he tracks down the werewolves, I'll never trust them!"

"Mund..."

Kingsley tried to silence him, but the wizard ignored him "What do we really know? He spent almost one year among werewolves an…"

"Sit down Mundungus and ke…" Moody roared.

"I won't shut up!" the man answered back "How can we be sure that he is not a traitor?"

"Dumbledor…"

"Dumbledore is dead!" Mundungus continued to follow his train of thought, getting excited "He was murdered the same night the Death Eaters attacked Hogwarts. If only Lupin had warned the Order in time now…"

"Lupin didn't know anything about their plans until it was too late to…"

"Actually, this is what he says." Mundungus replied, specifying in a lower voice. "Can we trust his version of the facts?" he asked with a sceptical tone in his voice. "It is well known that werewolves have suspicious minds, but they welcomed him. They shared their plans with h…"

The noisy quarrel caught Tonks' attention "What's happening?"

Mundungus was standing, pointing his left finger against Kingsley and Arthur. Moody's own eye was narrowed in concentration while the magical one was spinning round looking everywhere. The grimace on his face made him look as if he had just tasted rotten cabbage leaves. Fred had never seen Professor McGonagall so pale, her lips compressed into a single line, a disgusted look on her face. "I have no idea." He said entering the room, followed by Tonks.

"They don't have the courage to say it to your face, but they agree with me." Mundungus continued nodding his head in Dedalus and Hestia's direction. "He doesn't belong to t…"

"What is he talking about?" Tonks asked to George.

"Lupin." the boy answered "Mundungus will leave the Order if Re…Tonks!"

Tonks' eyes twisted into a menacing stare, her jaw clenched. Her blood was running fast through her veins, her head was spinning, she could feel the tips of her fingers itching. "What's your problem, Fletcher?"

The man looked at her. Part of the lime green t-shirt was visible under the well-crafted black jacket with the small silver 'A' on it, her mousy brown hair tied up in a messy bun. He raised his chin, staring the young Auror out. "I won't seat next to someone of his kin…"

Tonks heard someone moving around her, behind her, but her eyes were focused straight ahead, focused completely on him. "How dare…" she hissed, shocked at the venom in his words, taking a step towards him. "you…" She could smell cheap alcohol on his breath, on his clothes. "filthy little thief…"

Mundungus face took on a very different look. His eyes were black as a deep hollow. Tonks' voice held a tangible threat, but the wizard refused to back down, sure that Hestia and Dedalus would have supported him. "He is a werewolf! He is nothing like us. I'll never risk my life for..."

Someone called her name, but she was so upset that she didn't hear it. She moved so fast the wizard didn't realise she had, until he felt the tip of her wand against his chest.

A sudden silence fell on the crowded room. The only sound her breathing. No, not just hers. Another rhythm, ragged, deafening echoed hers. She could sense her anger rising to its breaking point, she could sense Mundungus fear…

"Tonks," Lupin called again "sweetheart." he said softly, covering her hand with his. "It is not worth it."

For a moment Remus thought Tonks was going to cast a spell on Mundungus anyway, but then she darted an angry look at Mundungus, wrenched herself from Lupin's grasp on her wrist and left the room without saying a word.

 _"So," Tonks said sitting in the old armchair "you're my cousin's best friend."_

 _Lupin nodded over his book.  
"Can I ask you something about him?"  
"Uh!" her request surprised him. Lupin raised his eyes and looked at her. Her purple hair framed her pale, heart-shaped face. Her dark twinkling eyes resembled those of Sirius before Azkaban. "Do you want me to tell you something about Sirius?" _

" _I hardly know anything about him at all. Mum doesn't talk about him." As soon as the words left her lips, Tonks thought she knew almost nothing about Lupin too. Ever since their first meeting the young Auror had thought there was something about him… He seemed like a nice guy but there was something in his eyes … a certain kind of loneliness, a cold brick wall between him and everyone else. She had never been shy but, unconsciously, she took a strand of her hair and started to twirl it. "If you don't have anything better to do I r..."_

" _Well..." Lupin said stroking his short beard "I think I'll have time to read it." He closed the book and smiled "What do you want to know?"_

" _How did you meet?" she asked. Sirius and Remus were so different that it was hard to believe they were friends. "Has he always been so…"_

" _Impulsive?" The man suggested, ironically "Immature?"_

 _She looked away for a moment, thinking. The door of the little drawing room was closed but they could clearly hear Sirius and Molly's voices. "Impatient."_

" _Patience has never been one of his virtues." Lupin stretched his arm and put the book on the three-legged table "Only few people would have used 'Impatient' to describe your cousin." He crossed his legs, put his left elbow on the armrest and his chin on his hand. "If I remember correctly, some of our schoolmates used to call him a jerk. But Severus prefers to c…"_

 _She had never seen him in such a good mood, though Tonks. His smile was so kind she couldn't help but smile in return. She had never heard him talking about his life as student. She had never heard him talking about something other than Voldemort or the Death Eaters. His voice sounded different, pleasant. He looked different, relaxed…younger. The firelight flickered in his face highlighting the angles of his face, turning it into a pattern of light and dark. The scar on his chin become more evident "How did you get your scars?"_

Suddenly the images of that evening, of the old mouldy wallpaper, vanished. The sound of the crackling wood was replaced by the howling wind. His eyes weren't focusing right, and Lupin blinked a few times to clear them as he jolted himself back to the present. A strong wind was blowing from the north. Tree branches were shaking, the grass was swaying, the birds were seeking shelters from the imminent rain. He looked at the girl who was standing next to the magnolia tree. His eyes lingered on the tense muscles of her shoulders, on her fists, clenched so tight her knuckles were white. She was as impatient as Sirius. She was as reckless as every Black he had ever known in his life, Lupin corrected himself, stooping and picking up her wand from the ground.

"Why did you let Mundungus talk?" She said looking at the faint glimmer of cold sunlight, on the horizon, in the far distance.

"Mundungus is a Member of the Order "The man stopped right behind her "and he has the right to express his opini..."

"He was not expressing his opinion" she replied feeling her fury burning through her veins "he was insulting you! And you… you were sitting, listening to him while he was spouting venomous words."

"What should I have done?"

When she turned back her brow was furrowed. "Well…"

"I tried to make him see reason" he said before she could speak "and so did Arthur, Minerva, Alastor… "In her dark blue eyes, he saw her determination, her strength, her frustration and his heart swelled with happiness. "but it felt like talking to a wall." Lupin reached over and brushed a strand of her hair from her forehead "He is so afraid of…"

"We are all afraid of Vol…"

"I'm not afraid." Lupin replied, trying not to laugh at the astounded expression on her face. "Why should I be afraid of him? I have you, one of the most skilled Auror of the Ministry, by my side." He angled his head looking at her, his eyebrows raised, pretending to be concerned about her answer "Will you protect me, right?"

"Hum…" Tonks murmured tapping her finger on her chin in a gesture of deep concentration. She took a few steps towards the boundary hedge. She could feel his eyes following her every move. "It depends."

Suddenly there was a loud clap of thunder on the horizon, far in the distance. The wind carried with it the scent of rain. "It depends…" Lupin echoed putting his arms around her, pulling her close to him "What does it depends on?"

Tonks turned in his arms, facing him. Her anger was gone. Her fury a faint memory. She wanted to tell him how much she had missed him instead she said, "I shouldn't have threatened Mundungus."

"You shouldn't. Mundungus may not be neither the most honest man, nor the bravest, on earth but he is a member of the Order. We have to act as a team." Lupin nodded twirling a strand of her hairs between his fingers before tucking it behind her ear "You shouldn't have threatened him," He said again, leaning his forehead against hers "but I am happy you did it."

She widened her eyes in surprise "What…"

Lupin chuckled "How can I blame you for defending me?" he asked before kissing her. "Last time someone stood by my side like you did, I was six years old." He whispered caressing her cheek. "One of my schoolmate' s mother wanted to send his child to another school because of me. She didn't want him to play with me, to seat next to me. I've never seen my mother so angry. The day after I was sent to another school but…" He put his finger under her chin and made her meet his eyes "there will always be a 'Mundungus', someone who will look away, someone who will stare at me, and you can't spend your life fighting against them."

Tonks lowered her eyes for a moment. "I'll try but…"

"But you have inherited your cousin's temper." A sad, nostalgic smile wreathed his face "I wish you had the chance to know him better." he took a deep breath "Sometimes, I can still hear his voice. If he could see me now he would say _I told you so_." A lightening flashed in the sky brightening the clearing, showing the outline of a garden gnome that was trying to find shelter. "He knew I was in love with you before I even knew it. He knew me better than I know myself."

His fingers were running through her hair, but his voice was distant. Tonks tried to imagine what would have meant for him seeing his best friend die. All the people he loved had died or were putting their lives at risk. "Love," she called interlacing her fingers with his "what happens to your parents?"

"Uh?" Lupin asked gazing at her with a perplexed expression "My parents?"

Tonks nodded "I have never heard you talk about them before."

"My parents…" he murmured to himself. His expression changed from puzzlement to delight. His eyes light up "I would like to…"

The first fat cold raindrop hit her nose followed by another "It's better if we come inside." She said turning around and looking at the attractive warm light coming through the sitting room's window. "They will be waiting for us and I don't wan…"

"It's better if we skip this meeting." Lupin caught hold of her hand "If you come back in that room, Mundungus won't lose the opportunity to tease you. Let's give him time to simmer down." He wiped away the raindrops from his face "The Weasleys will tell us everything tomorrow."

She hesitated for a moment, wondering what to do. Part of her wanted to take part at the meeting, leaving would have meant Mundungus had upset her so badly she couldn't stand his presence any longer, but she knew Remus was right. "Let's go home."

Ted heard a strange muffled sound coming from the kitchen "Dora, is that you?"

"Yes!" answered the girl catching the kitchen roll holder before it fell "We are home."

The man couldn't help but noticing his wife's disappointed expression. For sure, she had hoped Lupin wouldn't come back. "Please…" he whispered turning down the television.

Andromeda stared at him for a moment then she looked back at the screen, the annoyed look vanished from her face. "I wasn't expecting you home so early." She said as Tonks and Lupin entered the room "You're soaked to the skin!" she exclaimed shivering when her daughter leaned down to kiss her cheek. She stood up from the armchair and looked at them. "Get out of those wet clothes or you'll catch cold." Her eyes lingered on their hair, flattened on their heads, on their clothes, clinging to their bodies "You too." Andromeda addressed Lupin, a bit sharply as if she was swallowing a bitter pill "I'll get you something to wear from Ted's closet."

Remus leaned against the shower's wall, letting the warm water run on the back of his neck, over his shoulders, down his back. No matter how many times he had said to himself that he didn't care about what other people thought of him. He could lie to anyone else, but he couldn't lie to himself.

It was not the first time someone was doubting him, but Mundungus' words, Hestia and Dedalus' silence, cut deeper than a knife. The weight of his sorrow was too heavy in him even to form into thoughts. They were supposed to trust each other not to stab each other's back.

He turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his body avoiding looking at his own reflection in the mirror.

No matter what he could have done he would always be no more than his scars.

Lupin stopped on the threshold of the sitting room looking at the people inside the room. Andromeda was talking about something that had happened during the afternoon. Tonks looked relaxed, an amused look on her face as she was listening to her mother. A strange feeling of emptiness squeezed Remus' heart. For the second time that evening he wished his parents were there. He tried to remember the last time he had sat on the sofa beside his father, but he couldn't.

"Remus," Tonks called seeing him standing in the shadow "what are you doing there?"

Lupin shook his head almost imperceptibly, driving away those thoughts, and entered the room "Thank you for the cloth…"

Ted motioned him to sit down. "You don't have to thank me for everything I do."

"Or he will expect us to do the same." Andromeda smiled picking up her cup and moving it to her lips.

Ted and Tonks exchanged a surprised look "Was that a smile?"

Ted nodded, puzzled by his wife's reaction. He couldn't believe Andromeda had changed her mind and started to treat him like… like a guest.

Tonks changed her position on the sofa, leaning towards her father "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing." The man stared at his wife in disbelieve wondering what thoughts were going through her mind. He could almost feel the wheels turning in her head.

Andromeda took a sip then studied her cup for a moment. "How is Bill doing?"

"He is feeling better." Tonks said offering her cup to Remus. "At least that's what Fred said. I haven't met Bill."

"Poor boy!" Andromeda sighed "He was so handsome, so confident…" she turned towards Ted "I can't even imagine how Molly is feeling right now." Andromeda straighten her back and looked at Lupin "What do you think about it?"

The spicy, sweet smell drifted out of the mug and tickled Remus' nose. "I'm not a Healer, but…"

"But you're a werewolf." The woman continued "And Dora told us you used to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts. I thought you were an expert on Dangerous Beasts."

Ted frowned trying to follow his wife thoughts. He was sure she had carefully chosen the word 'beasts'. He looked at Andromeda, then at Lupin, who was sipping his tea, and at his wife again. She was studying Remus, Ted noticed, and her apparent good mood made him shiver.

"I don't pretend to be an expert." Lupin looked at the cup in his hands, starting to feel uncomfortable "Nobody can tell what will happen to Bill until the next full moon."

"What a pity you couldn't prevent it from happening." Andromeda said sadly "His life will change forever and there is nothing he can do to stop it."

"Don't you think you're being a touch melodramatic?" Ted asked, his eyes moving from Andromeda to Lupin.

"Melodramatic?" Andromeda replied, after thinking a while. "Maybe you're right. Unfortunately, awful things happen. But I'm sure it must be frustrating for Bill. He had spent so many years studying hard to become a Curse Breaker and now… at least he is lucky to have Lupin as friend." She gave Remus a cold smile, her eyes fixed on the scar on his cheekbone "Someone who can teach him how to... "

"Well," Ted said nervously, trying to interrupt the conversation before his wife could say something unpleasant "you must be hungry. Do you want something to eat?"

"You should taste the fish pie, Remus." Andromeda said, getting up from the armchair. "You're so skinny… I can't imagine how hard and tiring it must have been living in the woods, hunting your own meals."

"Thank you." Remus answered before Tonks could open her mouth to speak "If you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed."

"Why do you have to be so…" Ted grumbled through clenched teeth "so rude?"

"I don't understand why you are attacking me." Andromeda said, listening to the sound of the footsteps on the staircase "I offered him something to eat."

"You'll never miss the opportunity to insult him." The man replied in an exasperated voice. "There was no need to remind him about the time he spent with the werewolves."

"Well, I said the truth." Andromeda said in a particularly caustic tone "He is a werewolf, he spent nearly a year in the woods…"

"He knows it… Dora knows it." Her husband answered back "I had hoped you'd give him a chance to sh…"

"I was hoping that you'd stand by my side" she replied, a severe look on her face "It's our duty to protect Dora and to tell her the truth, even if she doesn't like i..."

"Andromeda, you can'…"

"I won't step aside while he ruins her life!"

"Have you ever considered the p…."

"He doesn't deserve her, Ted." she interrupted him shaking her head "Dora will never be happy with Lupin. He is an outsider and will always be an outsider. He will never get a regular job and…" she stopped. It was not difficult to guess the direction his thoughts were taking "I'm not saying that he is not in love with Dora. I think Lupin loves her. But," she added taking a step towards him "how long before he changes his mind? How long before the weight of his inner demons oppresses him, again?"

"He is not the man we imagined for our daughter, I know." Ted sighed, tired, covering his face with his hands. "You might be right but if you continue to behave like this, we'll lose Nymphadora. And I can't…I can't let you do that."

"He'll run away, Ted." She kept saying "He ran away from home when…"

"Enough!" Ted exclaimed, roughly. "That's enough."

"Ted!" Andromeda called, puzzled "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get some fresh air." Ted said walking away without letting her say anything in return "Don't wait up for me."


	3. Chapter 3

_The same dark sky with the same bright moon shining in it. The same chilly wind blowing, shaking the trees. The unmistakable scent of snow._

 _Remus shivered and huddled deeper into his old, worn out cloak. He concentrated on the sliver of light coming from the kitchen's window, wondering about what his next move would be._

 _He could almost feel the warmth of the fire on his cold hands, on his cheeks. The smell of the spicy stew coming from the pot on the fire. That thought made his mouth water._

 _The door of The Burrow was only a few metres ahead on his right. It would have taken him less than two minutes to reach it, no more than ten steps…_

 _Remus straightened his back, lifted his right leg and took a few steps towards the door. The idea of spending the evening with his friends was tempting, the idea of sitting in a comfy armchair in a warm room was attractive, but... The cloak flapped around his ankles, fluttering in the wind as he suddenly stopped walking. A cold snowflake landed on his nose. Only few steps…if he had let his wishes prevail over him, all they had done would have been pointless. It would have changed everything. A silent shout of frustration roared in his chest._

 _After Sirius' death leaving Grimmauld place, tracking down the werewolves, spying on them, had seemed like a clever idea, now Lupin wondered what the heck he had been thinking._

 _Five months had passed, five months during which he had been really scared of closing his eyes at night, months during which he hadn't been able to shake off the feeling someone was watching him, studying him. He needed to rest, to spend some time with people whom he could trust, to chat without fearing the wrong sentence could have cost him his life._

 _Now more than ever he needed to believe that he was more than a werewolf or... he was going to lose himself, Lupin thought sadly, then he shook his head sighing heavily, correcting himself before disapparating, he was already lost._

The sound of Tonks knocking on the door brought Lupin back to the present.

"Hi, Tonks," Arthur opened the door a crack "Remus."

"Hi." The girl replied thoughtfully, noticing his untidy hair, the bags under his eyes "Is everything ok?"

"Oh?" the man mumbled absently-minded, looking from the one to the other "Yes," he nodded, raking his hands through his hair in gesture of tiredness "but…"

"Bill." Lupin said before Arthur could finish the sentence.

"Bill." The other man echoed "I don't understand… we thought he was feeling better… he said he was feeling better." He said in a wobbly voice "But yesterday evening he locked himself in his room and he's not coming out. He refuses to talk to us, he refuses to eat…" as he spoke his voice became fainter "His silence…the sound of his angry steps…"

Lupin lowered his eyes staring at his shoes as the most unpleasant thought began to creep into his mind. His heart clenched. It couldn't be true. Greyback was a heartless monster that killed for the mere pleasure of inflicting suffering but… "It can't be" he muttered to himself trying to remember everything it had ever read about werewolves' bites. He had never heard of someone bitten by a werewolf not on the full moon. "I have to see him."

"Do you want to see him?" asked Arthur watching him taking a few steps backwards, stopping and looking at Bill's window "It's impossible. Even if would let one of us enter his room he won't talk to a…"

"Someone like me?" Lupin suggested him, ironically "Well, I hope you'll forgive me if I don't ask for his permission."

During the months he spent at Sirius' house Mr. Weasley got to know Lupin well. He was a patient, polite, thoughtful man. Arthur had never seen Lupin so worried and baffled at the same time "Remus…" he said caught hold of his arm. Their eyes met, but he broke it off, his cheeks as red as his hair "do you think he'll became a werewolf?"

The moment Remus entered the room he stopped short, gazing at the guy sitting on the floor. His long hair hid his face from view, his hands hung limply over his knees, Bill hadn't even noticed someone had forced the lock and entered the room. The curtains were pulled drawn but even in the half-light Lupin recognized a miniature Fleur waving her hand from a half-picture on the floor.

"Do you mind if a sit down on the floor with you?" Remus said, softly. Bill didn't answer, and the man sat down in front of him "It was a beautiful picture" Remus made a long arm and took the other half of the photo "Why d..."

"What do you want?" Bill asked sharply

"I would like to talk to you."

"Talk… What would you like to talk about?" He replied in a sarcastic tone looking at Lupin with raw anger in his eyes. "Go away. Leave me alone."

"Bill, I know what you are thinking about. I know how you fe…"

"You know nothing!" He yelled banging his clenched fist on his own leg, "You have no idea of what…"

Lupin sighed. "I can help you, but you have to talk to me." The man tried to make eye contact with him. "You have to trust me."

"Trust you? Only a fool would ever trust a werewolf." Bill drew back with a disgusted face. "Do you want to help me?" he continued with an ironic tone. "I'm sorry but it's too late."

"I know you are angry and afraid of…"

"Get out! Out of my room!"

"Listen to m..."

"No!" Bill exclaimed getting up. He turned his back on him and went near the window "Why should I listen to you? I won't let you tell me everything is gonna be fine."

"I do…"

"I've seen how my parents, Fleur, my brothers look at me. I've heard them; whispering to each other." He started to play with the double hem of the curtain, twisting the fancy fabric between his fingers. "They think I cannot hear them, but I can. They are waiting, waiting and asking themselves what will happen on Sunday, how will they handle this problem."

Lupin raised himself slowly "It's not true, you know that. Your…"

"I'm a problem!" Bill cut Remus short "I had a job I loved, I had a life…" His eye caught his reflection in the wardrobe mirror. He stopped looking at the pasty- faced young man staring back at him. His mouth twisted in a grimace of pain and rage and fear "and now I'm gonna lose everything!" he cried out throwing a book at the mirror.

Broken glass cracked under Lupin's feet "You are n…"

"Where is your family, Lupin?" Bill asked, tired, annoyed by Remus' clumsy efforts to reassure him. "You're alone! Even the members of the Order think you are a traitor only because you're a werewolf! Nobody gives a damn about you!"

The wooden table was still in the middle of the dining room.

Two jugs of water, a dozen of glasses, shallow plates, half homemade apple pie, two maps covered almost all the surface of the table. Nobody had cleared the table after the meeting.

It was not like Molly to be so untidy.

Tonks brought one of the maps, closer to her and shook the cake crumbs off it, trying not to listen to the voices coming out from upstairs, trying not to look at the Weasleys.

She had never felt so uncomfortable in their presence.

She would never forget the first time she met…she bumped into Charlie. He had become her best friend, her rival in the Quidditch pitch and Bill… she's had a crush on him for a long time. It was too sad to see Charlie, Molly, Arthur sitting motionless on the sofa, hardly daring to breath, waiting for news they didn't want to hear.

The sound of broken glass made them startle.

Molly jumped to her feet, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. She was tempted to leave the room and run upstairs, but something stopped her. For the first time in her life, she didn't know how to comfort one of her sons. Her thoughts broke, her heart sank. She started walking around the room, muttering nonsense to herself, caught between impotent rage and misery, stopping only when she heard Lupin talking with Fleur, who had been waiting in the passage out Bill's room.

The springs of the sofa creaked as Charlie and Arthur stood up.

"Remus, what do you think?" Arthur asked before the man had entered the room.

Lupin took a deep breath, stroking his short beard. Arthur's anxiety was very real, almost tangible. "I'm fairly sure he is not a werewolf."

"Fairly sure?" Molly exclaimed in perplexity, disappointed by his words.

"All we can do is wait until Sunday" he answered and, before Charlie could have the chance to say anything, he continued "and in the meantime, you'll try to make him understand that whatever happens he won't be alone."

"Fleur has never left him alone and I…" Charlie started, feeling blamed for something he hadn't done.

"No, that's not what I'm saying." Remus replied, understanding his words had been misinterpreted. "He doesn't want to be taken care of. Bill needs to believe that nothings is gonna change between you and him."

"But…"

"You think that pretending not to see his scars you'll help him to forget about them. It is a big mistake. His scars will never faint and if you look away when Bill is with you, he'll start to think you are ashamed of him." Remus went on calmly, though a gloomy and grave expression had settled on his face. "He needs to know that if he wants, he can talk to you about that night. He needs to know that you're not afraid of what could happen, that you have no fear of what people would think."

"Bill would never…"

"Forget about the Bill you knew! He is not himself, right now! He'll never be the same guy again!" Lupin replied abruptly, his voice sharp, almost hostile. The silence, the worried glances that followed his words, brought him to his senses. Their constant interruptions were starting to get on his nerves. But after 30 years he should have been able of controlling his feelings, he thought blaming himself for the foolish outburst of anger. "The full moon affects him. His reactions are quite unpredictable…" He continued in the gentlest tone, trying to apologise for his rude reply "Molly, if your offer still stands, I'll prefer to stay the night. "

Tonks, who until that moment had been watching out the window, came closer to him "We'll stay the night."

Lupin nodded reaching out for her hand. "I'll try to talk to him again before Sunday, but first I have to go to Grimmauld place. I left my trunk there and…"

"There is no need for that." said Arthur noticing the sadness in his eyes as he thought about Grimmauld place and Sirius "I've put your trunk in the shed. We knew one day you would come back and I assumed you'd need it, eventually."

He would have recognized the sound of her footsteps anywhere "You should go home. Your parents will…"

When they had left home that morning her father had already gone out and her mother had barely noticed their presence in the kitchen. The night before Tonks had heard her mother walking restlessly in the sitting room waiting for Ted to come back. She had heard them argue, the steps of her mother on the stairs, her father opening the sofa bed. "I'll send them an owl. They will understand." Tonks lied, closing the door behind her "I won't leave you. Not when you are so upset." She continued looking around. The attic was a small room with two windows overlooking the courtyard. A bed occupied one wall. Against the opposite wall was a light brown wooden wardrobe. Arthur had left Remus' trunk at the foot of the bed "Sweetheart," Tonks called looking at him who knelt on the floor was looking for something in the trunk "what's troubling you?"

"I wish I could have reassured Molly and Arthur." Lupin answered sadly "Did you see their faces? They wanted answers… Bill wanted answers… and I…I gave them only empty words." he sighed standing up, a metal box in his right hand "It took me one month to track down a small camp of werewolves in Kent." He looked at the box for a moment, doubtful, his eyebrows raised, as if he was answering silent questions "Some of them are quite nice guys and I can't stop thinking what could have been of them if they had had the same opportunities as me." He nodded imperceptibly to himself and put the box on the draw of chest between the two windows "If I am here now, it's only because of my father and Dumbledore. I wouldn't have become the man you know without them. Probably I'd be one of Greyback's followers."

His last sentence made Tonks shiver. "Remus…"

"It's true, love." He said in an unconcerned tone, as if he wasn't talking about himself "Werewolves are considered dangerous creatures and yes, they…we are dangerous on full moon, but we are humans too." A tinkling sound came from the box as he opened it "I understand why most of us support Greyback without hesitation. No one chooses to be a werewolf…an outcast. But this is what we are, Mundungus is right. Why should they fight to protect people who discriminate against them?" he looked at the few vials containing coloured fluids. "When people look at me they see my scars not me. It was hard for me to get used at it, but I was young and I'm sure it is easier for a child to accept someone else' help." the orange fluid glittered in the sunlight when Remus took one of the vial "Bill is a man. He was about to starts his own family…it won't be easy." Tonks's hand covered his as she leaned towards him to look at the vial, her eyes narrowed with curiosity. He knew her mind was full of questions, but she didn't say a word. "I'll need your help."

"Tell me what I have to do." She said without hesitations.

Funny how the simple certainty she would always stand by his side had an effect on him that he hadn't experienced in a while, an effect that sent his heart jumping, Lupin thought clasping her hand. It seemed like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. "I want you to talk to Fleur." His smile lit up his eyes at her surprised expression. But soon the perplexed look on her face turned into determination. She straightened her shoulder, raised her chin and… if it weren't for the auburn lock of hair, Lupin thought brushing the stray lock of hair from her forehead, he could sa… the man lost the train of his thoughts, twisting Tonks' hair between his fingers, asking himself if her hair had been darker that morning. "I know you are not one of her biggest fan but…"

"She dared to say that I snore" Tonks said with a fake pout "and I am quite sure that it was her who switched the salt and sugar labels when it was my turn to make dinner. But now I know Fleur better and she is not so bad as I thought…"

Sirius and Remus had spent hours listening to Tonks' complaints about her roommate he thought, stopping listening to her, tucking the unruly lock of hair behind her ear, and yet she was ready to do whatever she could to help Fleur and Bill.

Lupin had seen Tonks fight against the Death Eaters, he had seen her flying on a broomstick and could easily understand why Moody was so proud of her, why the old Auror was saying she was one of the best Aurors of her generation. But it wasn't her fight's skills that made his heart racing. "Marry me." He whispered, unthinkingly.

She stared back for a moment, her mouth open in disbelief, blinking a few times. "What did you say?"

The moment he had knocked on her parents' door he knew he had made a choice.

Nymphadora had made him believe that his own life was something worth fighting for. She had remembered him what it felt like to know that someone was there to care for him. She had remembered him the power of a good hearty laugh. Soon or later he would have asked her to marry him. Undoubtedly, he would have waited until the end of the War. He would have waited until Ted and Andromeda had accepted his presence in Tonks' life. However, despite his intentions, his brain had stopped thinking the moment he looked in her eyes and he had just blurted the words out "Will you marry me?" He asked, smiling again, clasping her other hand, gently "Before the next full moon, before I'll be too weak to disappara…"

"Dad thinks that you may need this too." Charlie panted entering the room carrying a big box on his arms "Pay attention when you open it. I'm quite su…" he putted the box on the floor near the wardrobe but when he turned "Sorry…I'm sorry." He stammered out trying to apologize, feeling embarrassed. "I thought you were alone…"

"Charlie," Lupin called exchanging a meaningful glance with Tonks while letting her hands go, reluctantly "wait, please."

The ticking coming from the old clock on the bedside table was the only sound that filled the silence while Charlie was asking himself what he had interrupted. Then he shook himself out of his thoughts "What's it?"

"What?" Remus asked staring at the door, a dreamy expression on his face.

"What's in the vial?" Charlie asked again looking at it.

"Oh! The vial…sure." he said remembering the reason why he had looked for the metal box. "Severus made this potion for me wh…"

"Snape?" Charlie asked puzzled, showing his contempt for the Potion teacher.

"He's not good at making friends, but he is a skilled potioneer." Lupin answered understanding Charlie's doubts about the man "Dumbledor trusted him; I trust him."

"But…"

"This potion will ease Bill's headache and let him get some rest." The man explained and, noticing the worried look on Charlie's eyes, added "It's not Wolfsbane potion."

Charlie breathed an unintentional sigh of relief but then, looking at the coloured fluid, he thought that it wouldn't have mattered "Bill will never drink it."

"It's flavourless." Lupin said handing him the vial "Put half of his content in Bill's cup and…"

"Why me?"

"Because your brother trusts you." He said while Charlie was looking hesitantly at the vial "You'll bring him a cup of pumpkin juice and a steak and have dinner with him in your room."

"Are you sure this will make Bill feeling better?"

Lupin nodded, he got a lump in his throat and just had to force a smile "Trust me."

Charlie took the vial, hold it tight for a moment than put it in his pocket, carefully. "I'll make Bill drink his juice."

There were still nearly four hours till sundown, the moon was no more than a pale, faint globe in the light blue sky but Remus could feel its power over him. It was like being touched by cold, clammy hands. He could feel invisible, wet fingers pinch his skin, pierce his flesh, claws digging into the back of his head with a painful grip that was slowly destroying his sense of reason. His thoughts were looped and fragmentary but nonetheless he knew that lying to Charlie was one of the worst things he had ever done. He had asked his friend to trust him and then he had intentionally lied. He shook his head, hoping to clear these thoughts, to drive away the guilt feeling that had crawled up his spine, preparing to creep in his brain.

The kettle started whistling as he entered the kitchen.

Everything was so clean and tidy that it seemed unnatural.

His words seemed to have provoked a rather odd reaction in Molly. She had washed everything that didn't move, had even emptied the pot of flowers, washed it, filled it again and put it back on the windowsill.

Now she was sitting at the table with her husband, Charlie, Fleur and Tonks.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Arthur asked.

"No, thanks." Lupin answered putting his hands on Tonks' shoulders, leaning down to kiss her hair.

His gesture made the girl blush and smile, closing her eyes for an instant, her head still buzzing with excitement. He had never hugged or kissed her in front of other people before, she thought fighting against the wish of putting her arms around Lupin's neck kissing him. "You should eat something, Remus." She said noticing how pale he was "You skipped lunch and this morn…"

The thought of food made his stomach twist "I'm fine." he said sitting next to her. "Did Charlie tell you everything?"

Arthur nodded "What makes you thinks Bill will eat something for dinner."

"I'm sure he will like a rare steak." Lupin avoided his friend question

"I'll have dinner with him and…"

"No!" Molly and Lupin exclaimed simultaneously interrupting Fleur.

"Why?" the girl asked frowning, folding her arms. "Why it should be C…"

"'Cause he loves you." Remus said before Molly could answer "He would do everything in his power to make you leave him. He would tell you awful things to hurt you. He will never forgive himself for this, for letting you see him in this condition." He took a deep breath putting his elbows on the table, leaning towards the French girl, a grave expression settled on his face as he added in a gentle tone "You should stay away from him for a while."

"Never!" Fleur cried out glaring at him before turning to Molly "So that's your plan! I know you think I'm not the right girl for Bill. I know you would have preferred someone else, even a clumsy girl as Nymphad…."

"Hey!" Tonks exclaimed feeling offended at her words "I'm not cl…"

"I'm gonna marry your son. It's time for you to accept it!" Fleur continued ignoring Tonks' interruption. "I'll never leave this house without him!"

"Let them go." Said Lupin caught hold of Tonks' arm.

"Why is she always picking on me?" The girl snorted as Arthur followed the other two out of the kitchen "I'll never understand what Bill had seen in that haughty French girl."

"Well…" Lupin replied looking at the girl who was arguing with the Weasleys in the garden. Her golden hair shining in the sunlight, blue eyes under blonde furrowed brows, a small straight perfect nose. "you can deny she's beautiful."

Tonks glared at her "Is that what you think, Lupin?"

"She is beautiful." He said again and noticing she had called him by his surname, suppressed a smile. "But I have a soft spot for the stubborn, clumsy gir…ouch!" he exclaimed massaging his ribs, making Tonks roll her eyes at the exaggerated gesture.

"I'm not clumsy."

"No." Lupin agreed, giggling at her fake menacing look. "Sweetheart," he said in a grave tone, moving the chair back, turning towards her "what I have said to Fl…"

"I know." The girl cut him short, gently, noticing how hard it was for him to talk about his condition "Sirius told me ab…"

"This time it will be different." Remus sighed, passing over the fact that his best friend had blabbed a secret he had sworn to keep. "I haven't drunk the Wolfsbane potion."

"Don't worry." She tried to calm him down seeing the anxiety in his eyes "I'm sure Arthur knows a place in the nearby where you can turn into…"

"It's not that." He said understanding she had misinterpreted his fears "I'm gonna hurt you." he avoided his eyes "And I can't do nothing to avoid it. I can do nothing to control my re…"

"Remus," Tonks called sweetly putting her hand on his check making him face her again "There's nothing you could say that would make me leave you."

"I don't want you to leave me." Lupin assured her "I want to see your face when I'll wake up after the full moon. I want to know that you'll forgive me…"

"I will." Tonks stopped him, recognizing the strange light in his eyes, noticing his sudden change of mood. "You don't have to worry about that." She had seen the same light in his eyes on the night before the full moon. The moon had already started to affect him, she thought sadly, earlier than she was expecting to. "Anyway, Remus," she said standing to fill her cup again, looking at him out of the corner of her eye, her hands imperceptibly trembling, "Yes. My answer is yes."

Lupin stared back at her for a moment, speechless, trying to understand what she was referring to. Then he caught a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. The memory of his unromantic, unplanned proposal struck him like lightning streaking across a cloudy sky, relegating his deepest fears to the back of his mind. His eyes sparkled. Suddenly he stood up, put his arm around her waist making her turn towards him.

"Ops…" Tonks whispered knocking the teapot with her elbow. She looked at the tea spilled all over the table that was staining Molly's doily.

"Tsk, tsk." Remus said leaning over her shoulder to see what had happened, shaking his head in disappointment "What a clumsy girl yo... "

"It's your fault! I'…"

She was so easy to tease, he thought, and then he abruptly bent his head towards her and his lips caught her own.

Tonks put her hands on his chest pushing him back "I'm not clumsy!" she said in the most serious tone of voice she could manage.

Looking at her who was trying to look angry, her tone in marked contrast to her eyes that were lingering on his mouth, Lupin couldn't help but laugh. He pulled her to him again, hugging her as he kissed her. His heart started beating faster than he could remember as he felt her arms around his neck holding him close, kissing him back.

It was then that a strange sudden gust of wind brushed his right hand making him open his eyes. He had made a mistake thinking his heart couldn't beat faster, Lupin realized running his fingers through her hair "Dora, love," he called against her mouth, a note of incredulity in his voice "your hair…"he said showing her a lock of her own hair "your hair is blue."


	4. Chapter 4

Pale mauve clouds were spreading across the morning sky. Small drops of water were trickling down from the roof of the porch, mingling with the nightingale's song.

"Can't sleep?" Bill asked, closing the door behind him.

"No." Lupin answered, shaking his head.

"The attic isn't the most comfortable room of the house." Bill said, hesitatingly, trying to break the ice. "Especially on a stormy night."

"It is warm and dry." Lupin replied sharply, thinking about the months he had spent in an old hut then, driving away those thoughts, he motioned the boy to join him. "How do you feel?"

"I'm feeling better, thanks." He lowered his gaze for a moment as he sat on the wooden step "Remus…yesterday…"

"It doesn't matter." The man cut him short taking the mug Bill was offering him.

The boy blew on his coffee to cool it, looking for the right words to say, but his mind was confused, his thoughts shrugged in the grey mist he was getting used to. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I…I don't know what happened to me."

"Be patient. You'll learn to control yourself." Remus answered. But as soon as the words left his mouth, he couldn't help asking himself if it was a lie. Had he really learnt to control himself?

"Patient? How long will it take?" the boy asked clasping tightly his own hands trying to stop their trembling. "How long did it take you to learn?"

"It was different." Lupin replied, more coldly than he meant, lost in his own thoughts. "You're not a werewolf."

Surprisingly, Lupin's words didn't serve as a significant comfort to him. A cold sense of emptiness clenched his heart. He wasn't the same guy he used to be. He wasn't a werewolf…. Who was he going to be? Bill asked himself. "No offence, but you're wrong." The boy replied kicking a small stone with the tip of his right shoe. "You must be wrong."

* * *

The long rectangular room was crowded. A warm, bright light was radiating in many directions from ten floating glowing ball. Scrimgeour was sitting on an uncomfortable wooden chair that stood on the platform. He was listening to Amelia Bones, nodding every now and then, his lips pressed in a small line, but his eyes were fixed on the witches and wizards sat in the first row, the Press. The tawny hair framing his oval-shaped frame and the resolute, calm and animatedly alert of his eyes made the Minister look like a lion ready to defend his territory.

Tonks looked again at clock on the wall, grumbling, asking herself what was Scrimgeour waiting for. Then something happened. The girl noticed a small smirk playing across the Minister's lips "Who is that man?"

"Who are you talking about?" Dawlish jumped, hiding a yawn behind his hand.

"The man at the door." the girl answered, pointing out a tall middle-aged man carrying a big leather bag.

The Auror looked at the man "I have no idea."

"I'm sure I've met him before." she said in a low voice, putting her elbows on the table, her chin on her hands, gazing at the man.

"I've never seen him before ..." the man cut her shortly then, folding his arms and closing his eyes, he sank back into his sit clearly showing he was not interested in the topic.

"No..." Tonks shook her head absent-mindedly "Scrimgeour would not leave his chair to talk to a simple employee."

"Well..." Dawlish snorted casting a bored glance at the man, asking himself why she was so obsessed with that stranger. "…they're about of the same age. Maybe they are friends and you saw that man, whoever he is, entering Scrimgeour's office."

"Yes...it could be." Tonks admitted, unconvinced, gazing at the two men. It was obvious that Scrimgeour was interested in the contents of the leather bag, but the other man seemed to avoid his gaze, hesitating before giving him the bag. "I ..." there was something in that man, something in the way he was moving his hands while talking, in the way he had bent his head listening to Scrimgeour, that was familiar to her. "I suppose you're right." she added, accepting the evidence. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember him.

* * *

A dog barked, running away, frightened by the loud pop, as she appeared. Tonks rubbed her eyes, tired, trying to get used to the darkness of the clearing. After spending the afternoon in the over-lighted conference room, it was too dark for her.

"... whatever you're thinking, you can just forget it!"

"Oh, come on Charlie!" Bill replied, "It is a nice suit."

"I don't need a new suit." Charlie said looking at the winking man on the magazine.

"Are you not going to wear your brown suit, aren't you?" his brother asked ironically, thinking about Charlie's old brown suit.

"It's not old." the boy said, bored. He had listened to his brother, Fleur and his mum for hours, nodding every now and then while they were talking about flowers, decorations, invitations. "And it fits me perfectly."

"It is okay for a class reunion." Bill conceded "But it is not something you can wear to a wedding. Not if you are the best man."

Charlie jumped. "I…Am I your best man?" he asked, a smile curving his lips, feeling the thrill in his veins.

Bill chuckled "Do you have any doubts?" he asked smiling back, amused by his brother's reaction "But I don't want a best man who wears an old-fashioned suit." he added going back to the front of the magazine starting again, flipping through the pages. "Fleur will invite some of her ex-schoolmates and …"

"Hi guys!" Tonks said, pleasantly surprised to see the two brothers sitting on the porch "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Charlie answered, silently thanking Tonks for her timely arrival. Last thing he needed was a matchmaker.

Bill sighed, shaking his head almost imperceptibly "What do think of this color?"

She looked at the picture Bill was showing her. "I like it. I think it will look good on you, Charlie."

"Oh! Thank you!" Bill smiled, pleased with himself "Do you believe me now?"

"Okay, okay. I'll buy it." Charlie gave up "Are you happy now?"

His brother nodded folding down the corner of the page "Yes."

"And the others?"

"Mum and Fleur are talking about the menu. Da…"

"He is in his room." Bill cut his brother short, understanding who she was looking for. Then, as she closed the main door behind her, he turned to Charlie whispering "It is time for you to move on, bro'. You should have asked her out months ago."

"What?!" Charlie blinked at his brother "Who…why…Tonks…I don't…" he mumbled nervously "We are just friends and… stop it!" he said sharply, seeing his brother smile, feeling his cheeks burning red "Stop it and give me that bloody magazine or I'll change my idea."

* * *

Lupin read the sentence again, hoping to find something new in those words, in vain. He knew by heart every single word of that notebook. It was impossible to predict Bill's behavior. His mood swung rapidly. One minute he was rational and then, suddenly, the minute later he was feeling depressed, angry or happy. Remus had never felt so powerless. Not knowing what to do, was an irritating, annoying feeling.

The sound of the door opening took him off these thoughts. The simple black austere Auror uniform clashed with her sky-blue hair. All day long, the thought of Tonks' answer had made its way through his thoughts. He had unintentionally looked at his watch every ten minutes until Arthur told him about the meeting at the Ministry. "Hi, lo…."

Tonks smiled to herself realizing her gesture had surprised him. She kissed him again, softly brushing her lips against his. Suddenly Lupin seemed to recover from the surprise kiss and kissed her back.

"Hi!" she murmured, drawing breath, resting her forehead against his.

"Hi." he repeated, his eyes still closed, savoring every moment of that kiss.

"I'm sorry. I got held up at work."

"I know. Arthur told me that." Lupin said, "A week will pass very quickly. And then I'll marry you." he added, a serious look on his face, "Even if I have to come personally to the Ministry and take you away, Nymphadora."

Something in the way he had said those words made her heart jump for joy. "Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus!" she warned him.

He put his arm around her waist, pulling her on his lap. His sparkling eyes met hers for a couple of seconds, so close she could feel his warm breath tickling her cheek "If you could look at yourself right now…" His smile turned into a laugh. "You look so funny! I love your expression when you pretend to be mad at me."

She had never seen Remus so happy. His good mood was contagious. An extremely pleasant sensation warmed her middle spreading up into her chest. He was making fun of her and enjoying it. Probably she would have done the same, Tonks thought biting her lower lip. "I'm not pretending." Choking back her laugh, she looked at him with fake disappointment. "I hat…"

"I love you too." He smiled before she could finish the sentence kissing her again.

For the first time that day she dropped her guard and released the tension in her muscles, enjoying the warmth of his body against hers. "What were you doing?" she asked looking at the notebook on the desk.

All his life Remus had been afraid someone could see through him, afraid that beneath the mask of the rational, diligent man there was nothing worth knowing. Watching the girl ran her fingers lightly down the notebook page, something inside of him began to crack. There was a look of intense concentration on her face while she was trying to understand the small, messy handwriting without knowing that what she was reading were his deepest secrets.

"Remus…" Tonks called, feeling his heart racing "are you OK?"

"I've never felt better." he reassured her kissing the top of her head. No one had ever reached so deep into him, before. No one had ever come closer to touching his heart the way Tonks had. He held her closer and asked, "Do you remember when I told you that I've never met someone like Bill before?" Tonks nodded and he continued "It's true. I've never heard of someone bitten by a werewolf who was not under the influence of the full moon."

She looked at him, puzzled, her left eyebrow raised "Are you saying that Bill is the first one?"

"I don't know." Lupin said, a hint of frustration in his voice. "There are no books about werewolves except for those that explain you how to recognize them, how to kill them and…" he looked at the notebook "this notebook. Everything I know about werewolves is here, in these pages."

The margins of the notebook were old and worn. It was clear to Tonks that Remus had read those pages lots of times "Perhaps who wrote this can help us."

"I think so."

"But…" she turned back to the very first page of the notebook, then she closed it and looked at the cover "there is no name on it. Do you remember who gave it to you?"

A nostalgic, quite amused smile crossed Remus' lips "I would never forget him." he answered and after a couple of seconds he continued "Would you like to come with me and meet him?"

"Sure." Tonks said, absent-mindedly, wondering about the mysterious owner of the notebook "Wait…" she added understanding his intentions "do you want to go there now?"

"Well…" Lupin said brushing a lock of her hair away from her face "it is too late to find someone who will marry us now, and we have no other plans for tonight..."

His answer surprised her. Remus wasn't the kind of man who make a decision without thinking. "Remus, do you have any idea of what time it is?"

"Don't worry." he said, "I'm sure he'll talk with us."

* * *

A loud crack broke the silence. Somewhere in the distance a cat mewed. The scent of the woods was replaced by the salty smell of the sea.

"Now, you can open your eyes." Lupin whispered to the girl who was burying her face in his chest, her fingers gripping his sweater.

"I hate side-along apparition." Tonks grumbled out. She hated the sensation of being dragged by her hair, squeezed into a narrow tunnel, sucked into a colour vortex, without knowing the destination. She listened. There was no traffic sound, as far as she could tell, just the sound of waves crashing against the rocks, in the distance. She looked at the row of houses, at the well-tended gardens. It seemed like a safe, quiet place. "Where are we?"

"We are in Wales." The man took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I'm home."

"Home…" the girl echoed, shocked. She didn't know he was Welsh. To be honest there were lots of things she didn't know about the man she was going to marry. "The notebook…" she continued remembering Sirius words, starting to understand "It is your father's notebook."

Remus nodded, watching the street lights lit the village casting dark shadows near the houses. The same shadows that used to haunt his nightmares. Long he had tried to forget that place, to wipe out those memories from his mind, in vain. But not all his memories were bad memories. And when he had seen the Weasleys sitting at the table, laughing, talking about the wedding, he couldn't help feeling a sense of emptiness deep inside. Suddenly, he realized how much he missed his parents.

"How long has it been since you've been home?" When they lived in Grimmauld place, Sirius loved to spend the evenings talking about the old times. Her cousin loved to talk about his life as a student but Remus, he limited himself to making minor alterations to his friend's stories. Tonks had never heard Remus talk about the past on his own initiative. He had overshadowed every question about his life before or after Hogwarts.

A shiver ran down his spine at her question. A twig crunched under his feet when he stepped backward, regretting his rashness. It had been a mistake to apparate there. "I was seventeen years old."

His answer almost left her speechless. Twenty years were a long time. She felt his hesitation, squeezed his hand and smiled at him with confidence. "Come on!"

"Wait!" he exclaimed, panicking. His heart was beating fast against his ribs, his lungs were too heavy to breath. "Wait…please."

* * *

It was a detached house on two floors with a nice front garden, a red stones pathway, a light brown façade and a satellite dish on the roof, like every other house in the street.

The footsteps stopped behind the door, then Tonks heard the key turn in the lock, and the door opened wide.

For a long moment nobody said a word. The man on the threshold looked at her, his eyes dwelt on her face, on her hair, then slid down focusing on the small "A" on her jacket. He frowned, recognizing her uniform, immediately. "Yes?" he asked more brusquely than he meant to, unable to keep a mistrustful tone from his voice. "How can I help you?"

Finding the Aurors at the door wasn't nice, Tonks thought noticing that the man had checked the wand in his pocket. She saw his jaw tighten, his brows furrowed and the anxiety bleak in his eyes. Her silence was frightening him, she understood. The girl expected Remus to talk but he seemed petrified. His hand was cold, his muscles tense. He was gripping her hand so tightly that he was almost hurting her. "Good evenin…" she began to say, giving the man an embarrassed smile, feeling guilty. But before she could finish the sentence Remus seemed to come to his senses and stepped out of the shadows.

As if independent from his body, Remus heard his own voice saying "Hi, dad."

Hearing that sound Lyall's heart skipped a beat. No matter how long it had been, he would have recognized that voice anywhere. He turned, looking at the man. His entire body began to tremble, almost imperceptibly. The scars on Remus face were paler than he remembered, he was thinner but … "Remus." he said, in a whisper, taking a couple of steps towards him.

"I'm sorry, dad. I sh…" the sound of the slap echoed in his ears. He felt a metallic, bloody taste in his mouth. He rose his chin, slowly, meeting his father's stern look. He had never raised his hands against him before. His vision blurred with tears, but not because of the burning cheek.

"Lyall…" Hope touched her husband's arm, lightly. Nobody had noticed the woman until that moment. Hearing her husband open the door, she had poked her head out the living room. Seeing Lyall going out she had followed him.

Lyall startled, his hand still upraised, then, as if he had just realized what he had done he stepped back, avoiding their eyes, tripping on the steps of the porch, coming back inside.

"Twenty years…" Mrs Lupin's sweet, melodious voice broke the silence. "Not a message, a letter, a phone call…" her eyes lingered on her son's face, hesitating, studying him as if she was trying to decide whether he was real or not. "But it doesn't matter anymore…." a smile turned up her mouth's corners, unexpectedly. She put her arms around him, hugging him tightly "You're here. You're back home."

Remus hold her closer, releasing the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. Long he had missed the scent of her hair, the touch of her hand, the sound of her voice, and for a moment he come back to when he was only a child. "I'm sorry mum. I didn't mean to…"

"I know, my dear." Hope cut him short stroking his hair "You never meant to hurt us. Sometimes, even when we do things with the best intentions, they may have a price. But you're here now." she kissed his cheeks, her eyes, full of joy, shining in the half-light "If I know your father, he is in the back garden now, pulling out weeds." she smiled again "Go, talk to him."

Standing in the shadows, hearing them talking, Tonks had never felt so ill at ease in her life. It was just like pry in Remus' life. She didn't even know his parents were alive. Luckily, she thought, wishing Remus had talked to her before taking her there, nobody had paid attention to her, at least until that moment, she corrected herself as Hope looked at her.

The car's lights that had lit the garden disappeared from sight as the car rounded the corner.

"Oh!" Hope exclaimed, embarrassed "Sorry darling, I haven't noticed you."

She had Remus' eyes, Tonks thought gazing at her, studying her face, unintentionally. Then, understanding she was being rude, she looked away "It's my fault." the girl replied "I should leave and giv..."

"No!" Lupin replied, ashamed, realizing he had left her aside. He took her hand. "Mum, she is Tonks."

Hope opened her eyes wide. "Nice to meet you, Tonks. Why don't we come inside?" she suggested.

* * *

Remus hovered nervously, hesitating, not sure what to do, which was unusual for him. He didn't expect them to jump for joy … to be honest he didn't know what to expect to find there. As his mother had told him, his father was pruning down a shrub of roses muttering something under his breath.

"My old swing. It is still here." Remus said watching the swing moving in the wind, taking a deep breath, summoning up the courage to break the ice.

Lyall opened his mouth to speak but no sound come out. The palm of his left hand was burning. He couldn't shake off the feeling of Remus skin against his hand. Seeing him at the door, for the first time in his life he had stopped thinking and let his anger, his frustration, his concern act through him.

"They were chasing werewolves…"

For twenty years he had longed to hear his voice, to see him again but now that he was there, the fear of watching him leaving again, of living that over again…it was almost too much for anybody to put up with. "Werewolves hunting has been occurring worldwide for hundreds of years." the other replied sharply "Now more than ever the Ministry is in favor of werewolves hunting"

"I didn't want to cause you troubles…"

"...Troubles…" the man echoed, incredulously, torn between chasing him away and hugging him.

"I tried to protect you. I wanted you to be safe, to be happy…"

Lyall turned and looked at the man standing in front of him. "It was not your job!" he cut him short, feeling the lump in his throat melt as his mind reeled at the memory of the first time, he held him in his arms.

"Dad…"

"You did nothing. I should have protected you…. And I failed!"

"No! You saved my life, dad." Remus replied and seeing him shake his head, putting his hands on his father' shoulders he added "It is thanks to you, to both of you, if I am a man and not only a werewolf."

* * *

It was a cosy, bright living room with a sofa against one of the four walls a couple of armchairs, a grand piano near a French window, a fireplace, two bookshelves and, in the middle of the room, there was a nice, wooden coffee table.

"He was a beautiful child, wasn't he?" Hope turned off the TV while a woman, probably an actress, with a red dress and long black hair, was announcing her plans to retire.

"I'm sorry." Tonks jumped, putting down the photo.

"Don't worry, darling." the woman replied, gently. "It's one of my favorite photos" she added, a sad smile on her face, looking at the picture. "It was quite impossible to keep Remus away from the sea."

"Really?" Tonks asked, surprised, smiling back at the young Remus. No matter if it was summer or winter, he always wore high necked t-shirts or buttoned up shirts. She had never seen him bare-chested and she could hardly imagine Remus wearing a swimsuit.

"Sure." she nodded nostalgically "But…it was before th…" she stopped, suddenly, and looked at the girl.

"I know who he is. The meaning of his scars." Tonks said understanding the reason of her hesitation "And it doesn't matter."

The woman stared at the girl, happily surprised by her answer "Not many people think so."

"Not many people kn…"

"Forgive my cool welcoming but when I realized you were an Auror I started to think…" Lyall said, clearly embarrassed, following his son, interrupting their conversation. They seemed relaxed, happy, despite what had happened less than one hour before.

"You have no idea of what people say when the Aurors knock at their door." the girl cut him short, gently.

Hope looked at her husband then at the girl, with a thoughtful expression. It wasn't the first time she heard that word but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't remember the meaning of it. "What's an Auror?"

"I think you could consider her as a policewoman." Lyall answered and then noticing the puzzled expression on Tonks' face added "Hope is a muggle and we don't usually meet wizards."

"But dad, h…" Remus exclaimed, puzzled.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you next time." Lyall said clearly eager to change the subject "So…" he continued motioning them to sit on the sofa "Remus told me what happened to your friend." He sat in the armchair and crossed his legs, a serious look on his face "It is an extraordinarily uncommon situation," he murmured stroking his short beard "a very sad situation…. but unusual." He repeated, a light gleaming in his eyes. The same light Tonks always noticed in Remus eyes when he was thinking about something intriguing.

"What are you talking about?"

"One of their friends has a problem with a Boggart." Lyall answered to his wife before Remus or Tonks could open their mouth. "They think I can help him." He continued stopping them before they could correct him.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry for your friend." the woman said leaning out to grab Remus' hand "But don't worry, I'm sure your father can help you. He knows everything about Boggarts…after all he saved me from one of that creatures."

"Really?" Tonks asked, interested. She didn't know muggles could see Boggarts.

"I was terrified! It looked like an awful hulking man." Hope nodded. "Now I know that I wasn't in actual danger" she continued "Sometimes I can't help but think Lyall took advantage of the situation to ask me out." She added, chuckling, an amused twinkle in her eyes. "He was so shy."

Hearing the woman laugh, Tonks couldn't help but smile back at her. She stopped feeling embarrassed. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin seemed the kind of people you'd like to spend some time with.

"Darling…" Lyall said, blushing "I don't think they're here to hear that old story."

"Oh, no!" Tonks exclaimed, thinking about how long it took her to persuade Remus to go out for a drink with her. "I'd really like to hear it."

* * *

As soon as they opened the door, the old-fashioned pendulum clock tolled the hour. The lights were switched off, the muffled sound of snoring was coming from upstairs. It seemed the entire house was sound asleep.

"Thank you, Remus."

"Uh?" he murmured hanging their cloaks "For what?"

"For letting me meet your parents. I like them and…" Tonks answered picking up his cloak from the floor, she hung it. "I ho… love? Are you OK?" she asked, seeing him staring at the coat rack with a vacant expression on his face.

"Y..Yes." he said, blinking his eyes as if he was trying to focus. "I'm just a bit tired."

"Maybe we should have accepted your parents offer and s…"

"No!" he exclaimed vehemently "I promised to the Weasleys I won't leave the Burrow until the full moon night."

"I talked with Bill this evening." Remus overreaction made Tonks smile unintentionally "He is feeling better and I don't think he will need you tonight."

Her smile seemed to cut into him like a blade "Oh, well… if Bill talked to you, there is no reason for me to stay here, then. I'm such a stupid. Why I haven't thought about that before? Perhaps we should wake up Molly and Arthur and tell them that they have no need to worry about their son. What do you think?

She looked at him, puzzled. He seemed distraught. He was so different from the man she had spent her evening with… and then Tonks, seeing the moon in the clouded sky, understood. Apparating always had a price and, that night, it was too much for Remus. "Lo…"

"Do you think that I'm playing? That I'm enjoying spending my days trying to answer to Bill's question?" he snapped, nervously, "I have no answers. No answers. Do you understand what it means?" he stared at her, angrily, "I'm lying to him. He looks at me as a guide and I… I don't know what I'm doing."

"It's not true, Remus. You know it." Tonks replied, without really knowing how to deal with that uncomfortable situation. She had never seen Remus so stressed, so anxious. He wasn't himself. "Now, calm down, please."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" he exploded "Don't tell me what I should do!" he leaned against the wall trying to stop the room's spinning. He was feeling terrible. His ears were buzzing, his head splitting, his tongue furred…and she…she was looking at him in such a way that it made his stomach twist. "I don't need it!" he continued, moving a few staggering steps along the corridor.

Tonks sprang forward, holding him up just before he fell. "Remus!" she called, worried, feeling his legs buckle. Instinctively, she turned around, looking for help, but they were alone in the room. Panting she managed to reach the sofa in the living room and made him sit down.

Every single muscle of his body was pulsing, hurting. He leaned his head on her shoulder, grasping her t-shirt, feeling the pain growing at every heart beat like a burning fire running through his veins, devouring him, driving him crazy "Leave me alone!"

"I won't leave you." The girl puffed trying to force him to lie down on his back. He was stronger than he looked, and strangely enough their squabble seemed not to disturb the Weasley's sleep.

"You…" He stared at her for a long moment, before surrendering. She was so stubborn…, so damn stubborn, he thought. "You…fool stiff-necked girl!" he took a heavy breath pointing his finger at her "I had a perfectly awful life. I knew what was there for me, what to expect every day. People hate those like me, they are afraid of those like me, they marginalize those like me… but you…. you had to creep in my mind. You had to throw my life into chaos." He took a deep breath, shivering with cold "I wish I had never met you!"

His words made her hands tremble, but she did her best to hide it. "You're not the first one to say that." His look was restless, feverish, cruel but she ignored it. "At the beginning of my third year at Hogwarts I burnt almost all of Patricia's clothes. Naturally, I wanted to help her to unpack her bags…. But I've never been good at..."

"I'm not a stupid pile of clothes." Remus snorted, cutting her short. "Don't you understand? You can't cure me. And I don't want you to nurse me!"

"Well…I'm happy to hear that." she replied wiping the sweat off her forehead "I would be a terrible nurse. Probably, I would spill a boiling bowl of soup on your legs." She added with a smile taking off his shoes.

"I'm not joking." He grumbled.

"Nor do I." she said yawning, moving an armchair and a chair next to the sofa "I'm too tired."

"What…. what are you doing?" Remus asked grumpily, noticing she was taking off her shoes.

"Molly will kill me if I scratch the chair with my boots." She answered sinking in the armchair.

"I don't need you to babys…"

"I thought it was clear. I won't leave you, Remus." She said interrupting his complaints "And I have no intention to start a fight with you right now. So" she continued trying to find a comfortable position "close your eyes and get some rest."

Remus rolled to his side grumbling something that sounded like "stubborn".

It had been a long day, Tonks thought looking at the ceiling. That was supposed to be her wedding night, she thought turning her head to Remus' back. He was there, so close to her that she needed only to stretch out her arm to touch him but, at the same time, he was miles away from her.

Maybe Remus was right. She didn't know what she was getting in. She didn't know how to face it. She sighed chasing away those discouraging thoughts.

Remus had asked her to help Fleur, but… how could she help someone else if she didn't know what to do? Sirius, he knew what to do, what to say to make Remus calm down. But Sirius was dead, and she couldn't talk with him.

What if she wasn't strong enough? She asked to herself hearing Remus' irregular breathing. What if her reaction, one of her words, made him run away?

"Do you feel cold?"

Remus' voice sounded like it was coming from far away, but something in his tone was different. There was no hint of anger in his voice. It was quite sweet.

"No." she answered surprised by his question. "I'm fine."

He mumbled something to himself then he took the plaid from the back of the sofa and put it on her legs. His hand lingered a moment on her knee, their eyes met for a second, then he rolled again on his side, grumbling "I can't sleep if you make the chair tremble."

The icy vice-like grip that was clenching her heart began to melt. Perhaps she didn't know what she was getting in, perhaps she didn't know how to face every single obstacle on their path, but she was too stubborn to surrender.

Perhaps there were lots of things that she didn't know about Remus, about the full moon effects on him but, she thought, what she knew was enough for her to go on. Because, even if Remus didn't know it, a couple of squabbles and some nasty words were nothing compared to the chance of a life with him. "Good night, Remus."

His head was still burning, his muscles hurting, the room spinning around him, his frustration roaring in his chest but somehow, her obstinate perseveration, made him feel totally accepted, made him feel free to be himself, to show her both sides of his life. He closed his eyes and focused on her slow, regular breathing, trying to relax. "'night."


	5. Chapter 5

"George! Get a move on!"

"I'm coming!" George grumbled with his mouth full, taking another toast before running out of the kitchen to join his brothers in the garden.

Suddenly the room become quiet, too quiet and, in that silence, Remus felt Molly's darting to him in annoyance.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

It was obvious that the woman was mad at him, but Lupin barely noticed it. His mind swirling like a whirlwind of clashing thoughts, his head heavy, as if he had woken up with the worst hangover of his life, he took another long sip of tea and raised his chin to look at her "What exactly was I supposed to say?"

"What wer...!" she snorted, rolling her eyes "That it is a foolish idea! That it can be dangerous!"

"Molly, darling," Arthur said calmly, puzzled by his wife outburst of anger "it's Quidditch. They know how to play since they were 10 years old. There is no reason for you to be so anxious, no muggle comes near that clearing."

"The International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy, really? Is that all you can think about?" Molly exclaimed putting her hands on her hips, menacingly, frowning at her husband "I wouldn't mind if they hit a muggle with a bludger right now. Tonight the moon will be full!" she turned to Remus again "And you should have remembered Bill about it!"

"He doesn't need me to say it." Lupin replied trying to ignore the smell of bacon and coffee that was hitting his nose making him feel nauseous. "He knows it. He can feel it."

Molly's mind registered his last sentence, but her anxiety prevailed over her curiosity "Then you should have said him to stay home, to rest and…"

"You, both of you, said those things to him." Remus cut her short, gently but firmly. "And Bill refused to listen to you."

"But you ar…"

"I'm what? A Werewolf?" Remus completed the sentence raising his eyebrows "Do you think that being a werewolf gives me authority?" He closed his eyes for a moment, holding his breath, clenching his fists so tight he felt his nails piercing his flesh then he sighted as his muscles relaxed again "Playing Quidditch, now? It was the worst thoughtless idea I have ever heard. But I won't tell Bill what to do. He hates what I am, and I don't know how he would react at my words. But you" he took a small pause breathing "you should have forced him to stay home."

* * *

It had been so long that she had almost forgotten the feeling of the air hitting her face while flying mid-air on a broomstick, the rush of adrenaline through her veins while chasing the ball. Tonks turned just in time to see Fred swivel to avoid the "fake bludger". His laugh mixed with George's exclamation of frustration.

"Tonks!" Charlie called catching her attention, gesturing her to stop Fleur.

The French girl flattened against her broomstick gaining speed.

Even if she didn't know how to make a feint, she knew how to fly, Tonks thought trying to reach her to steal her the Quaffle.

The young Auror couldn't believe that they were losing against Fleur. There were no Quidditch teams in that snob school where she was coming from.

A quite imperceptible whistle alerted Tonks. She looped the loop avoiding the bludgers but doing that she was forced to let Fleur fly undisturbed towards the hoop floating mid-air behind Charlie.

She saw Fleur raising her arm and throwing the ball. Less than a minute later she was shouting happily.

They were losing against Fleur, Tonks said to herself again, incredulously, watching Charlie going into a dive to catch the ball. It was unbelievable unless, she thought noticing the light in her friend's eyes, they were cheating.

She turned, looked at Fred and George and understood. They wanted Bill to win, they were letting Bill win without even trying to obstacle him or Fleur.

Tonks made a wry face, she didn't like cheating and she didn't want to do it, the girl said to herself catching the Quaffle. She turned left then right gaining speed, keeping an eye on both George and Fred, jinking near the branches of the trees to avoid the bludgers. Soon she found herself alone in front of Bill and the hoop.

She stopped, weighing the ball in her hand, looking for the perfect spot between Bill's left shoulder and the hoop. She raised her arm to throw the ball but before she could do it Bill sprinted towards her to steal her the ball.

She sidestepped and throw the Quaffle train to gain a point, but Bill turned brusquely and caught the ball.

Tonks had seen Bill playing lots of time when they were both students at Hogwarts, and for a moment, seeing him sneering at her, everything felt good, like in those past days. Then she saw him leaning forward. The big red ball slipped out of Bill's fingers.

"Bill!" Tonks shouted seeing him fighting to maintain his balance, his face bathed in sweat, his left leg dangling in the air. She heard Fred, Charlie, George and Fleur shout but they were far away. She sprinted towards him, her heart beating fast against her rib cage.

Bill's broom was pointing at the woods, out of Bill's control.

"Hold on!" she shouted, even if she wasn't sure Bill could hear her voice. Catching a flying broom wasn't easy but she had to do it before they reached the depth of the woods. She went into a dive, turning sharply to avoid the branches of the trees, her eyes focused on his friend's broom, a couple of feet over her head. Without thinking twice, she raised her arms and caught Bill's broomstick. For a moment everything was fine. She was controlling both broomsticks but then one of her broomstick's stirrup got stuck in a branch.

* * *

"For Merlin's sake!" Arthur sprang to his feet "What's happened?"

"Don't look at me like that." Tonks smiled "I'm fine."

"No, you're not!" Charlie replied gravely helping her to sit on the armchair "She fell down from the broomstick"

"Your brothers?" Arthur said, the fear in his voice

"They are looking for Bill. He ran uphill." The boy answered absent-mindedly looking for something on the shelves near the fireplace "Where is the floo power? Dad?" he called turning, but the man had already left the room.

"I told you that I don't need to go to the hospital. It's just a co…."

"Oh, shut up!" the boy cut her short throwing on the floor magazines and books "It must be her…"

"Charlie!" exclaimed Molly puzzled coming downstairs, looking at the pile of books and gewgaw on the carpet "What are you doi…Tonks!"

"Oh, that?" Tonks said seeing the woman frown. "just a little crash. But I'm fine."

"Where did you put the floo power? I can't find it!" Charlie mumbled impatiently "Damn it!"

"It is on the third shelf" Molly said looking at Tonks, her right arm bent at an unnatural angle.

"It isn't" Charlie snorted.

"It is" his mother replied reaching him.

"That's it!" Charlie exclaimed triumphantly holding a small jar in his hand "Come on Tonks!"

"Really, I don't need to…." She stopped talking seeing Remus on the stairs, noticing the intelligible expression on his face.

"Did she beat her head?" the man asked to Charlie, coldly, avoiding Tonks' eyes.

"Yes, I did." Tonks said a bit annoyed "Why don't you talk to me instead of…"

"She beat her head against a shallow root." Charlie answered, "She needs to go to the hospital."

Remus knelt in front of Tonks starting to move his right index from side to side in front of her face. "Molly, there is a wooden box inside my trunk. Can you bring it to me please?" he said to the woman, gently as if he wasn't the same men who had spoken only few seconds before.

"I still believe it's better if…."

"She doesn't want to go." Remus cut him short "We can pop her shoulder back in place and heal her cuts and bruises."

Charlie looked at Tonks, at Remus, at Tonks again and then he put the jar on the shelf again, shaking his head.

Tonks was too stubborn to change her mind and Lupin…he was behaving strangely but he seemed sure of what they were about to do. "Tell me what to do."

"I need you to hold her still." Remus said, "Can you do it?"

Tonks looked at her friend then turned towards Remus, crossed "I don't need Charlie to hold me. I wo…."

Charlie ignored Tonks and nodded squeezing her legs between his own. "Where did you learn to do it?" he asked curiously putting one hand on her left shoulder and the other on her right hip, firmly.

"I'm a werewolf." Remus said calmly standing behind Tonks "I can't go to the St. Mungo's and I can't explain the nature of most of my accidents to the muggles' doctors." He put his hand on Tonks's right elbow "Ready?"

"Ready?" Tonks echoed frustrated, trying to wriggle free, in vain. "I'm here. Don't you think you should ask me if I am r…"

"Ready." Said Charlie tightening his grip on Tonks.

The girl's cry made the hair on the back of his neck stand. She jumped so badly that he felt it in his bones. "I'm sorry, Tonks." Charlie murmured, even if it wasn't his fault, feeling her tears wetting his T-shirt. He held her tighter to him, caressing her hair, feeling her right hand grasp at his t-shirt "It's ok, it's finished."

"I found it." said Molly coming downstairs

"Thank you, Molly" Remus took the box from Molly's hands and put it on the table. He opened it and started to check vials and jars' labels watching Charlie out the corner of his eyes. "You can let her go now."

Remus' voice remembered him that he was still holding Tonks to his chest, close, too close for Lupin to be happy of it, Charlie realized letting her go, reluctantly.

"I need hot water and something to wash those cuts." The werewolf added in a flat tone making a mental list of what to do.

"Su…sure" Charlie stammered out, distracted by Tonks sobs. Leaving the room, he couldn't help but asking himself how Remus could show such indifference.

"Love…" Tonks said stretching out her arm to touch him, impulsively. She needed him. She needed him to hug her, but Remus…he was avoiding even to look at her for more than the necessary. The sharping pain in her shoulder took away her breathe making her head light.

Remus ignored her and, seeing Fred in the front yard, said "They are back. You should go and talk with Bill."

"Are you sure you don't need us?" Molly asked, helping Charlie to put a bowl of water and some compresses on the coffee table, her voice betraying her instinct to check on her own son.

"Go." The man said pouring a glass of old spice whisky "I can manage it." he handed the glass to Tonks "Drink it."

The pain in her shoulder was so bad that all she could do was breathing. She took the glass and drunk it in one gulp without saying a word.

Remus filled the glass again and put something in it "Drink."

Her throat was burning for the whiskey, her eyes blurred with tears, the room was whirling around her "What's it?"

"It doesn't matter." He forced the glass in her hand "Drink it."

Understanding she wasn't going to drink it "Fine!" Remus exclaimed losing his patience. He took the glass from her hand and put it on the coffee table. He took a compress and soaked it in the water "As you want." He said putting one hand under her chin, his eyes studying the cuts and scratches on her skin. Charlie had stopped the bleeding but some of them were quite deep. He made Tonks tilt her head to the right exposing the cut in her jawbone, took the wet compress and…let it fall again in the bowl "Damn it! Why do you have to be so stubborn? Drink your whisky!"

He was looking at her with a wild expression in his eyes. She had never seen him so nervous, his hands slightly shaking. "What did you put in it?"

"Why is it so important for you?" he asked upset "Why can't you just trust me?"

His question shocked her. "I trust you."

"No, you don't." he replied "Yesterday I told you that there was no need for you to spend the night looking after me. But you did it! This mornin…."

"I didn't spend the night looking af…." She tried to protest, in vain.

"This morning I told you that playing Quidditch was a b..."

"Oh no!" she snapped "You told me nothing! To be honest you haven't talked to me or looked at me since yesterday."

"I thought it was clear tha…"

"I can't read your mind Remus!" she exclaimed incredulously leaning towards him, forgetting about the pain in her shoulder. She regretted it as soon as she did it biting her tongue, not to cry, and continued "I trust you more than everyone else but you…you are so mad at me that you can't see it." she sighed catching hold of his hand "I spent the night in that damned armchair because all I wanted was to sleep next to you, not to nurse you!" Her shoulder was hurting so bad that she couldn't think, the cuts on her face and neck were burning, her mind was shouting her to lie back against the headrest and calm down but she wasn't able to do it "I'm not going to the hospital, not because I think you'll need me. You…. egocentric idiot! Don't you understand that maybe I'm doing it for myself." she let his hand go, took the glass, drunk the whisky and banged the empty glass down on the table "Now, do what you have to do or leave me alone. My head hurts too badly for me to fight against your foolishness right now."

It took Remus a couple of seconds to pull himself together. He lowered his gaze, blinking a couple of times then took the soaked compress and made Tonks tilt her head again, starting to wash the cuts in her left cheek "I put some drops of Devil's Snare extract in your drink." he said softly, avoiding her eyes, clearly embarrassed of his own behaviour, "It is an anesthetic" he continued, stopping every time he felt her wince. He put down the compress, took four vials from the wooden box and mixed their content into a small pot. "Why did you do something so stupid?"

"I don't know." She answered sincerely, biting her lower lip, regretting her burst of anger. Instead of attacking him she should have considered that Remus' bad temperament was due to the full moon. "It seemed a good idea then and Bill needed to…"

"He is making a fool of you, of all of you." He cut her short firmly but gently "I know you care about him but please," he raised his eyes to meet hers "please don't indulge Bill's every whim only because you want to see him happy. Nothing could make him happy now. He is not himself; do you understand it?"

"Yes. But it isn't easy to remember." She nodded and after a couple of seconds added "How are you feeling, love?"

"I'm still fighting to be myself and, as you can see," He replied ironically, asking her to forgive him. "I'm not as good at it as I pretend to be."

* * *

"It was an accident." Bill said, the feet of his chair scratching against the floor as he stood up "It's not the first time that one of us lose control of his broomstick."

"Bill, darling, you have to list…"

"No!" the boy cut Arthur short, impatiently "It has nothing to do with the full moon." He continued pacing the room back and forth "It was just an accident…a low blood sugar…or a sunstroke…or"

"Bill, please, don't be irrational. You kn…"

"It is not me the one who is talking nonsense." He replied his face as red as his hair "I'm not like Lupin! I'm fin…"

"You could have killed yourself." Fleur said. Her eyes still wide opened for the shock, a couple of small green leaves in her long blond, her face paler than the moon.

Bill couldn't understand the reason of their overreaction. "I just banged my elbow." he replied shrugging his shoulders "Don't be melodramatic."

"Melodramatic?!" Charlie couldn't keep quiet any longer "If you're here with just a bruise on your elbow it's only because Tonks managed to catch your broomstick in time to prevent you from crashing against a trunk." He stopped in front of him, looking straight in his eyes. When did his brother had become so selfish? The boy in front of him could look like Bill, talk like Bill, move like him, but he wasn't his brother. Perhaps Lupin was right about it, Charlie thought. "You could have killed her; you could have killed both of you!"

"Charlie, please…" Molly cut in trying to calm him down. She knew they were both upset but, in that moment, Bill was their priority. They had to persuade Bill to listen to them. Accusing him of something wasn't exactly the best strategy to use.

Bill had always been more than a brother for Charlie. He had been a confident, a role model, someone to follow. But the sight of Tonks' blood on his shirt, Bill's indifference for what had happened to their friend, made Charlie's blood boil in his vein. It was just like a pixie punching a dragon between his eyes. "You knew she was hurt. You knew that she needed help and you ran away!"

"Enough!" Arthur shouted. "Go out, Charlie!"

"Come with me, Charlie." Fred said putting his hand on Charlie's arm trying to calm him down and pull him into the back yard.

Seeing Charlie lower his eyes submissively and follow Fred towards the back door, a cruel smile twisted Bill's mouth "I knew you would have run to her, as always. You'll never learn that lesson, do you?" He whispered. "You're such a pathetic looser."

Charlie stopped straightening his back, clenching his jaw "What did you say?" he asked freeing his arm from Fred's hand. He turned towards Bill "Repeat it if you dare."

"Stop it, guys!" Molly said, incredulously. Fred, George and Ron used to fight, to tease each other. She was used to it. But Bill and Charlie. She had never heard them argue. "Whatever is happening between you two, Charlie, this is not the m…"

Ignoring his mother words, Bill took few steps towards Charlie, looking down on him "Don't you have always been there for her? Every time she needed help?" he asked almost in a whisper teasing him "Every time she was breaking one of the school's rules. Every time she didn't know how to sort out a problem. Every time she needed a friend to talk, a shoulder to cry on…. You where there, by her side, offering a helping hand." Bill knew Charlie was holding on every single bit of common sense he had to keep himself from reacting, from punching him. Being fully aware of it was making him happy, in a strange twisted way. Bill's smile reached his eyes "But she doesn't want you, little brother. She played with you, but she never wanted you. You have never been enough for her." He murmured venomously before Arthur and George managed to push him away from his brother.

"I hate you!" Charlie shout to him while Fred was pushing him into the yard "Did you hear me? I hate you! I wish Greyback had killed you!"

For a long moment nobody said a word then Bill turned towards his mother and Fleur who were looking at him in disbelief, a painful expression on their faces "What's on? Why are you looking at me like that?

"Bill," Molly asked back with a broken voice "what are you doing? He is your brother…"

"I know." He cut her short freeing himself "I haven't lost my memory."

"Calm down Bill, please." Arthur said, not really knowing what to say, "You're upset now but I'm sure that if you sit down an…."

"Don't touch me!" the boy snapped angrily stepping back

"Bill …" Fleur blocked his path "we want to help you, but you have to listen to us, lov…""

"Don't say that word! I don't want to hear that word never again!" Bill exclaimed pushing her away "I don't need your help. I don't need you." he added leaving and slamming the door behind him.

* * *

 _A resounding thunderclap echoed in the dim lit corridor. She could ear Dawlish and Kingsley talking in the changing room next to the training room, laughing. Tonks yawned, tucking her wet hair away from her face. It had been a long day. To be honest, she admitted feeling the sound throb in her head, she couldn't remember another day like that. All she wanted was to come back home and have something for dinner, she was starving._

 _She had reached the lift when a sudden movement caught her attention._

 _There was someone at the other end of the corridor._

 _Nobody, except for the Aurors, was allowed to be there at that hour of the night._

 _She looked back at the door of the changing room, hesitating, thinking for a moment about calling Kingsley and Dawlish but then the stranger turned the corner disappearing from her sight._

 _Ignoring the thrill of caution ringing in her ears she started to follow him._

 _It was easy at the beginning. The man seemed so focused in finding his way through the Ministry that he wouldn't have noticed being followed. But suddenly something changed. He started to walk faster and faster and Tonks find herself running not to lose track of him._

 _But no matter how fast she ran he was always ahead of her._

 _Soon Tonks found herself running through corridors and halls she had never seen before. Her muscles were hurting, her heavy shoulder bag was cutting into her shoulder, but she couldn't stop. She had to reach him._

 _The man went through a small door and started to run upstairs._

 _It was an old wooden spiral staircase, one of those the domestic elves used to move around inside the Ministry, with squeaky steps and no handrail._

 _There, at the end of the staircase, was a door with golden door handles._

 _She knew that door, she had seen it before. It was Scrimgeour's office door, she realized. A shiver ran down her spine. She sprinted forward, her heart beating fast, to stop the man before he could reach the door._

 _But then at the last moment the man jinked aside._

 _He turned to her, smirking._

 _Their eyes met for less than a moment as she run past him, out of her balance, falling from the stairs._

Tonks woke up, screaming. Her heart racing so fast she couldn't breathe.

"Tonks." Fred called coming next to her "Calm down, Tonks. It was a nightmare."

"A nightmare." The girl repeated, shivering. The sensation of the air ruffling her hair while falling, still in her mind.

"Easy." He said seeing her trying to sit up. "Lupin said you shouldn't make any sudden movement." He added putting one arm underneath her back slowly pushing her upright.

"Remus." She murmured still in shock, her eyes scanning the room looking for him. Then she noticed it was dark outside "What time is it?"

"It's half past ten."

Last think she could remember was Remus saying her to lie back. She couldn't remember closing her eyes.

"George took him in a cave on the hill." Charlie said guessing who she was thinking about. "It is far away from the villages of the valley." He went on putting a sling around her neck, helping her to place her left arm in it.

Far away from the villages and from The Burrow, Tonks thought. There Remus could turn into a werewolf without the fear of hurting someone.

"Are you hungry?" he asked hearing her stomach growl "I'll bring you something to eat."

"I'll come with you." the girl replied holding out her hand to him "Help me."

Molly's kitchen had never been so quiet before.

"Tonks, darling," Molly said seeing the girl and Fred entering the room "what are you doing? You should rest."

"I'm tired of resting." The girl replied limping towards the chair. "How is Bill feeling?"

For a couple of minutes, the only sound she heard was the clattering of plates and the clinking of cutlery Fred was taking from the cupboard. Then Fleur sighed "We don't know."

Tonks looked at her, perplexed.

"Arthur went with him to Shell Cottage before the sunset." Molly explained in a sadly voice "But he hasn't come back yet."

There was such a painful expression on Molly's eyes that Tonks had to look away. "Well…thanks" she smiled as Fred put a dish of fish pie and vegetables in front of her. Her stomach growled again but she ignored it. "If Arthur is with him, it means that Bill isn't a werewolf." She made them notice "What are those long faces? It's good news."

"Perhaps you're right" Fleur replied smiling slightly. "Perhaps they will be home soon, and everything will be f…"

"Oh…shut up, Fleur!" Charlie huffed annoyed.

"Charlie!"

"Don't you understand that he is not himself anymore?" he asked

"He needs time to understand what is happening to him," Tonks agreed with her friend "but you heard Remus." She went on taking a forkful of pie "Bill will learn to control himself."

"Like Lupin can control himself?" Charlie asked caustically

She raised her eyebrows "What are you insinuating?"

For a moment Charlie was tempted to tell her the truth. That he couldn't understand how Tonks could trust Remus after all he had done to her. He couldn't understand why she had fallen for someone who wasn't able to control his own emotions, someone whose mind was so tormented and twisted between desires and fears that you couldn't tell where desires ended and fears began. He couldn't understand why she had fallen for such a man when she could have chosen him. "Nothing." he sighed "Forget what I said." He shook his head drawing the curtain, stepping away from the window "I'm tired. I'll go to bed."

"Charlie," Tonks reached out her hand stopping him. They know each other since they were both 11 years old and she had never seen her friend in such a bad mood before. "I know you're worried for Bill." She said misunderstanding his behaviour "But he will be fine. We'll find a way to help him, together like when we were at Hogw…"

"We are not at Hogwarts." Charlie cut her short freeing himself "And there is no 'us'."

* * *

The chirping of the birds and the gently swishing sound of the leaves in the trees mixed in his ears. Lupin moved the eyes behind his closed eyelids, slowly breathing in the scent of clean sheets and star grass salve and the pungent, familiar smell of Murtlap essence.

He stretched his legs trying to soothe out his pounding muscles, bent his right arm to scratch the itchy cut on his chest but then his fingers touched something soft.

He half opened his eyes with a yawn. A surprised, relieved smile lit up his face as he saw the girl sleeping next to him, her cheek against his arm, her blue hair hiding her face.

She looked so young, so helpless in her sleep but she wasn't, Lupin thought, running his fingers lightly through her hair. She was stronger than himself, one of the most independent, determined person he had ever met. He couldn't even think of losing her and when he had seen her face covered in blood his heart had skipped a beat.

"Sorry. I didn't want to wake you up." He said in a thick voice seeing her opening her eyes "How are you feeling?"

"I should ask you this question." She replied rubbing her eyes, raising herself up on one elbow to look at him.

"I've never felt better before." Lupin replied clearing his throat.

Tonks got out of the bed "I'm not joking, Remus."

"Nether am I." the man replied taking the glass of water she was offering him. "I woke up on a comfy bed, in a warm room with a beautiful girl lying by my side." His smile widened seeing her roll her bright eyes.

"Remus, please." She sighed, blushing inadvertently feeling his eyes slid down on her body "Can you be serious for a m…"

He took her hand and pulled her on the bed next to him again. "Do you want the truth, don't you?"

Tonks nodded, sitting up with her legs crossed.

"I'm feeling like someone who has been run down by the Knight bus." He winced sitting up, resting his shoulders against the headrest "My muscles are hurting and I'm not sure I could stand on my feet right now. But you are here." he smiled tucking a lock of hair behind her ear his thumb skimming over the scratches on her cheek. "You scared the life out of me, love." He went on in a broken voice, a tormented expression on his face "You remained unconscious for too long. I couldn't help thinking I had made a mistake… that you wouldn't wak…"

"I'm here. I'm fine." She cut him short covering his hand with hers pressing his palm against her cheek "You won't get rid of me so easily, Remus." She added managing to get a smile out of him before tilting her head towards his.

It was the softest and at the same time the best kiss of his life, Lupin thought passing his arm around her waist pulling her closer to him, his hand slowly moving up her back.

"Oh well," Charlie said entering the room without knocking "you are awake."

"Charlie!" Tonks exclaimed surprised, rolling on to her back immediately "Where are your manners?"

"Leave us" he replied, skimming over her "I have to talk to Lupin."

"What t…."

"She stays." Remus cut her short and feeling Charlie's eyes linger on his scars he covered his chest even more "What can I do for you?"

"My father sent me to ask for your help." He answered looking at him in disdain "Bill is feeling sick."

Remus squeezed Tonks's hand as if he feared the answer he was asking for "Did your brother turn into a werewolf?"

"No."

Lupin sighed in relief "I need to see him."

"You can't." Charlie folded his arms, clearly annoyed at something "They didn't come back from Shell Cottage." He shifted his weight impatiently from one foot to the other "Will you give me something or not?"

"I'm sorry" Remus said, sadly "Those potions are too strong for him."

"But he is really sick and you ca…"

"I'm sorry, Charlie." Lupin repeated shaking his head, gravely "But they can only wait until he feels better."

"They have to wait…" the boy repeated vaguely, his eyes focusing on Tonks "Perhaps my father should have sent Fleur to ask for Tonks' help." He said in a mocking tone "' cause she seems to know exactly what to do to make yo…"

"You! How d…" Tonks exclaimed upset and angrily, blushing involuntarily

"I'm sorry Charlie I can't do anything to help your brother in this moment." Remus interrupted Tonks calmly, catching hold of her arm, preventing her from getting out of the bed "Now, before one of us says something we will regret, you should leave this room."

Charlie stared at Tonks, disappointment and disapproval mingled on his face. For a moment they thought he was about to say something but then the boy snorted and went out slamming the door behind his back.

"Damn it!" Tonks exclaimed frustrated, the disgust in her friend's eyes still making her cheeks burn "What's the matter with him?" she asked nobody in particular, too nervous to say nothing "I'll start to think he is the one Greyback bite if he doesn't stop acting like a moonstruck bast…" suddenly, realizing the implicit meaning of her words, she turned to Remus biting her tongue "Sorry love. I didn't mea…"

"It's ok, Dora. I know it." He assured her, a small sweet smile playing on his lips "And even if I hate to admit it, you're actually right. Sometimes I really act like a moonstruck bastard. But Charlie…" he went on stroking her hair, wishing they could turn into brilliant pink between his fingers "I think he is just jealous."

"Jealous? Charlie?" Tonks couldn't help but laugh "Jealous of what?"

"He has a crush on you." Remus replied surprised by her shocked reaction at his words "I can't believe you haven't noticed it."

"It's not funny." She replied seriously understanding he wasn't joking. "He's my best friend."

"He is a good friend. I like him." Remus nodded stretching his aching legs "And I think you should talk with him. But now" he continued "would you mind passing me my dad's notebook?"

Still thinking about his words, incredulously. She got out of bed, took the notebook, turned on the lights and sat back next to him.

"Thanks, love." He took it and started to flick through it. "I've never been a great potionist." he said narrowing his eyes, trying to focus the small handwriting "But I clearly remember my father made me drink lots of potions before finding the one that worked for me." He went on rubbing the bridge of his nose, his eyes starting to get tired "I'm sure he wrote down everything. Perhaps I'll find something to help Bill."

"You know the content of this notebook by heart, Remus." Tonks replied seeing him skim through the pages feverishly. It was clear to her that Charlie words had hurt him. He had sworn to help Bill and now forced in that bed, unable to do anything to help the boy, Tonks knew Remus was feeling powerless.

"I may have missed a detail." He said back turning a couple of pages before giving up at the evidence, snorting "I need your help." He continued handing the notebook to her "Read it aloud for me."

She looked at the old notebook in his hand, at him and at the notebook again. "Sweetheart, you're tired. You need to res…"

"Please." He cut her short almost begging her "Do it, Dora. I need you to do it, please."

"Ok." She accepted a bit reluctantly noticing he was getting nervous, his hands had started to shake, his chest to raise quickly at every short breath he took. "This page?" she asked taking the notebook from his hand.

"Yes." He nodded before leaning his head back on the pillow, closing his tired eyes.

She looked at the page for a couple of seconds clearing her throat. Reading those words was like peeping in his life. She cleared her throat again " _The dittany is working. The skin around his scratches is less inflamed but he still refuses to eat or drink anything._ " She cleared her throat again. John's handwriting was shaky. She couldn't imagine how that man had felt seeing his son in that conditions.

"Go on, Dora." Remus urged her to read it.

" _Hope doesn't want me to experiment on him. She wants me to bring Remus to the St. Mungo's, but I can't do it to him. He is just a ch…_ " she stopped again swallowing the lump that was chocking her "Love…" she asked quite in a whisper. She couldn't believe she hadn't asked it before "how old were you?"

Remus stiffened hearing that question. For a couple of seconds, feeling her eyes on him, on his scars he was tempted to shove her away, but instead of doing it he took a deep breath "I was four."

A shiver ran down her spine "Four years old…" she repeated, appalled. Her mind went back to the smiling, kind faces of Hope and John Lupin. She remembered the child of the pictures Hope had shoved her. He was laughing, chasing the waves on the beach unaware of what was waiting for him. Without thinking she touched the scar on his left temple and then seeing him frown "Does it hurt you?"

"No." Remus said with a tense tone in his voice. "But wha…"

"Shh." Tonks murmured turning onto her side, moving closer to him. His father had used essence of dittany on Remus' scars. But it hadn't worked, Tonks thought, sadly, while her fingertips were skimming over the scar that cut into two his left eyebrow. His scars were pale, but clearly visible and definite, left by five sharp claws. Her fingers moved lower on his cheekbone tracing his scar, while a name was echoing in her mind, leaving a bad taste in her mouth.

"Dora…no." he said recognizing the light in her eyes. He had seen the same expression on her face the night of Sirius' death "Please, don't do it."

"I don't understand." the girl replied in a fake innocent tone "What are you talking about?"

He took her hand between his, the fear in his eyes "Promise me you will keep yourself miles away from Greyback."

* * *

Paying attention not to wake him Tonks got out of bed and walking on tiptoe reached the door of Remus' room. She turned, looking at him for the last time, then she left the room closing the door behind her back.

The light of the moon coming through the windows guided her steps downstairs towards the room she was sharing with Fleur.

The door was opened, the room empty. Fleur and Charlie were on duty for the Order, Tonks remembered. After their last conversation, knowing Charlie was not at home made her feel better. She came to the wardrobe and opened it. She stood there, still in the dim light, for a couple of seconds, starring at her own clothes, thinking.

"Tonks." Molly called seeing the girl walking past the sitting room "Where are you going?"

The girl stopped, glanced at the main door sighing and turned back on her steps entering the sitting room "I have to go to the Ministry."

Molly raised her eyebrows perplexed staring at her as if trying to read her mind "I thought today was your day off."

"Yes, it is." Tonks answered forcing herself not to look away, feeling ill at easy. She didn't like lying to Molly "But I forgot I had to fill in some forms before giving them to Scrimgeour and tomorrow morning I won't have time to do it."

The woman nodded starting to knit again "He isn't a patient man, is he?"

"Not really. But he makes the Department run like clockwork." Tonks smiled and feeling guilty for not having asked it before added "Any news from Arthur?"

Molly shook her head "How is Remus feeling?"

"He is sleeping." The girl replied and then remembering her conversation with Remus she took a piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Molly "Remus things this could make Bill feel better."

"Is it the Wiggenweld potion's recipe?" Molly said surprised, eagerly reading the content of it.

"Well…yes." the girl replied "But with some adjustment. Remus things that you should use Murtlap tentacles instead of flobberworm mucus until the potion turns blue."

Experimenting with potions was dangerous. "Has he ever drunk it?" Molly asked frowning.

"No." the girl said back understanding her hesitation "But he could never put Bill's life at risk."

"Well" Molly said reading again the potion's recipe, thinking about the ingredients they had to buy "We'll give it a try."

* * *

Her steps echoed loudly on the wooden floor. She had been there hundreds of times, but the memory of her nightmare was still there in her mind and being in the Ministry alone at night gave her goose bumps. She walked towards the lifts at the other end of the Atrium hall and took a sigh of relief only when the golden grills of the lift opened, and the familiar voice announced she had reached the 2 level. She walked past the Auror Department and turned right heading for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement Archive.

"Hi Tonks." the short, plump witch of middle age almost hidden behind a high pile of purple folders smiled "What are you doing here at this time of night?"

"Hi Nonie." The girl replied straitening her back trying to look confident "I need to check a file."

"Hmm…" the woman muttered putting on her glasses, checking on a list "Your name is not in the list."

"Come on Nonie." Tonks replied, "You know me."

"Yes, but…" the other said back shaking her head "if Scrimgeour knows I'm letting you en…"

"I forgot to check it last time. If Scrimgeour knows that he will be mad at me." Tonks cut her short "Please. I need only five minutes." She went on appealing to sympathy "Nobody will ever know I was here tonight. Please."

"Fine." The woman sighed giving up "But five minutes."

"Five minutes!" Tonks echoed happily nodding "Thank you, Nonie. You're the be…"

"Go." The woman cut her short trying not to smile back "Before I change my mind."

The Archive was a huge room with grey stones walls filled with dozens of shelves on which purple, green, yellow and white folders were standing up with the spines facing out, stacked together so they didn't tip over.

She moved through the room quickly looking around and over the rows and rows of shelves until she reached the section she was looking for.

Less than a month before the file she was so anxious to read used to be stored in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures' Archives where she couldn't enter without Scrimgeour written permission. Luckily, she thought stopping, things had changed.

She looked over her shoulders at Nonie's desk at the other end of the room then, taking a deep breath, she moved closer scanning the shelf reading the names written on the yellow folders. Her heart jumped in her chest as soon as she read that name.

Without wasting a second, she took the small file folder from the shelf. It was light, half empty. The voice of Remus echoed in her mind, but she shook her head silencing it. She had sworn to stay away from Greyback and for what she knew he wasn't inside the Ministry. Afterward Remus had never asked her not to read Greyback's file.


	6. Chapter 6

_I posted the last chapter almost 6 months ago. It's a long time, but I've been very busy (I'm busy XD) and I'm sorry for it because I enjoy writing this story and I hope someone is still enjoying reading it._

* * *

"Andromeda," called Ted from upstairs, "have you seen my wallet?"

"Isn't it near the telephone?" the woman said turning the newspaper's page then, frowning, she added, "What do you need it for?"

"I promised Paul to go with him to the shopping centre." The man answered coming downstairs.

Watching him put the wallet in his trousers' pocket, something twisted inside Andromeda's chest. "Don't go."

"Oh?" the man exclaimed puzzled "Why? What's wrong?" he asked turning, noticing the concern in her voice.

"I…" the woman stammered hesitantly. No matter how hard she had tried but she couldn't shake off the bad feeling that was nibbling at her mind. "I would like you to stay home today."

Ted bent his head slightly, thinking. It was a strange request. Then he noticed the newspaper on the coffee table "I thought you agreed with me." He said thinking about the conversation they had had that morning. "The Ministry could never pass a law against muggle-born wizards and witches."

"I know. Scrimgeour will never do such a thing" the woman nodded "But things are changing. Do you remember what happened during the Quidditch world cup? There are lots of p…"

"That was awful…but this is completely different. It's a story to sell more copies." Ted replied in a reassuring voice "I'm going to the shopping centre, love. How many crazy, angry wizards do you think I'm gonna meet there?" he joked, smiling at her "I'll be back in two hours, I swear it." he went on wearing his jacket. Then noticing she was still scared he added, seriously "In the meantime, since you're so frightened, why don't you ask Nymphadora what's happening?"

* * *

"How is he feeling?"

That voice made Fleur startle. "Better." She answered in a whisper turning "I think he is feeling better." She added closing the door behind her back; her evident hope mixed with concern. Bill and Arthur had come back home after the sunset. Arthur had asked George and Fred's help to bring Bill in his room and keep her and Molly away from Bill. From the kitchen, Fleur and Molly had heard the boy moan and curse until they heard nothing at all. At last, he had fallen asleep. "Whatever you gave him, it is making him sleep."

Lupin nodded.

Then, as if she had suddenly remembered something, surprised by seeing him on the landing, she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to check on Bill."

The girl frowned instinctively "You could have asked one of us." Perhaps he had left his room to check on Bill but, she thought, watching him adjusting his grip on the handrail, his arm's muscles tense, it was clear he had been standing there on the landing for more than a couple of minutes. She was trying to imagine what had caught his attention keeping him there when she heard the voices coming from downstairs "Who are Arthur and Molly talking with?"

"Andromeda." Remus answered a bit briskly, unable to conceal the tension in his voice and realizing that name didn't sound familiar to the girl he said "She is Nymphadora's mother."

"Why is she here?" Fleur asked curiously coming next to him.

"Maybe she wants to talk to her daughter…" Lupin shrugged his shoulders "probably she wants Tonks to come back home."

She caught the hint in his voice "Don't you like her, do you?"

"I've met her only twice and we didn't talk much… But I don't think it would have mattered." Lupin answered ironically, a slight smile turning up the corners of his mouth. Sirius liked her. He used to say Andromeda is the only sane person in his family, except for him of course. He looked at the girl by his side, thoughtfully "Can I ask you a personal question?"

It was a strange request, Fleur thought, staring back at him. Remus had always been kind to her, but they had never had something that could have been considered a real conversation before. "Sure."

"Have you ever thought about going back to France?"

"Of course I have." The girl replied leaning against the handrail "I miss my parents, my sister and…" she smiled and went on softly as if in confidence "don't tell it to Molly but I miss French food."

"But you are here." The man replied without smiling back "You didn't go back home."

His words were met with a blank stare. For a couple of seconds, the girl thought she wasn't understanding his words.

"You've never been welcomed in this family." Lupin said, frankly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his legs slightly shaking under his weight

It was a simple consideration, Fleur realized, he wasn't insulting her. "Bill needs his family." she answered starting to wonder whether she was talking with Remus or the werewolf. "And I need him."

"He is the guy you fall in love with no more." He replied in a dull voice; his eyes glazed. "And even if you think it doesn't matter there are people who will never let you forget it."

* * *

"It's intolerable." Andromeda said in a judgemental tone, forgetting about the promise she had made to Ted the very moment she met Molly's eyes "The Ministry should prevent such things to happen. This is one of the reasons why there is a Ministry. To protect us a…"

"Underestimating Dumbledore's warnings was a big mistake. Scrimgeour knows that bu..."

"I'm not referring only to what happened that night. All those children whose life was put at risk…." the woman replied thoughtfully lightly shaking her head "What happened to your son is unbelievable. Especially when it could have been avoided. You" she went on looking at Arthur "you better than me should know that there is a list of names."

"They are keeping a werewolf register, yes." Arthur reply frowning, accepting the cup of tea Molly was offering him, thinking about the wizards and witches that were working in the Department for the Regulation and Control of the Magical Creatures "But even if it was well kept what do you think the Beasts Division could do?"

"Hunt them." The woman answered frankly pouring milk in her tea.

For a couple of seconds, nobody said a word. "You're talking of dozens of wizards and witches." Molly exclaimed shocked "Innocent people t…"

"I'm not saying they have to kill them. Most of them don't deserve to die." Andromeda replied straightforwardly "I think we should help them. Give them the wolfsbane potion, be sure they drink it." she took a sip of tea "What better way to do that than to gather them."

"A prison?" Fred asked incredulously "Are you talking about putting innocent people in prisons like Azkaban?"

"I don't think there would be any needs for Dementors." Andromeda replied lightly as if they were talking about the weather "As you said, some of them are innocent. Perhaps they did nothing wrong….up to now." She took another sip of tea and went on, casually, "We should look after them to protect them from themselves. We can't trust them."

"This is quite funny." Remus gave a forced laugh entering the room "Some of the werewolves I spent the last months with said the same things but" he went on caustically "they were referring to the wizards' community. Some wizards are untrustworthy, don't you think?"

"Lupin." Andromeda said sternly between her tightened lips, putting her cup back on the coffee table.

"Hi, Andromeda." Lupin replied staring back at her, knowing her eyes were studying him searching for marks left on him by the latest full moon night.

Suddenly the atmosphere in the room had become oppressive "Remus" said Arthur turning uncomfortably in the armchair "We thought you were res…"

"I never felt fresher in my life." The man cut him short, pleasantly, dropping himself on the sofa next to Fred, his eyes still focused on Andromeda "So…what were you talking about?" he went on tapping his finger against his lips thoughtfully "Oh…yes! Hunting werewolves."

* * *

A wisp of white smoke was rising slowly from the southern chimney of the bizarre building in front of her. Tonks closed her eyes rising her chin towards the sunlight, breathing in the perfume of flowers and grass, enjoying the warmth of the sun. It had been a long morning, sat at her desk, reading and sorting letters. In the last days, the number of people claiming having seen someone acting suspiciously had significantly increased and after what had happened it was easy to understand people's behaviour. Despite that, she couldn't help thinking sorting mail wasn't something the Aurors should do. But Scrimgeour had been unshakeable in his decision. There was something strange happening inside the Ministry, Scrimgeour had become suspicious and it looked like he mistrusted anyone except the Aurors.

The unexpected sound of laughs coming from upstairs made her smile. There could have been only one reason for the Weasley to laugh. Bill was feeling better.

Then while hanging her cloak twisted between the desire to run upstairs and see her friend and the consciousness that that moment belonged to the Weasley she saw that unmistakable red hair. She had no intention to talk with him, not after what he had said and done the day before. So she tried to reach the stairs without being noticed but in vain.

Hearing the steps on the passage Charlie raised his head, his eyes followed the girl passing the sitting room door while he was trying to find something to say.

"You should let my mother check that shoulder."

Tonks frowned, stopping, few lines crossed her forehead, "I'm fine."

"It looks a bit stiff." Charlie insisted, trying to sound friendly, following her in the passage

"My arm is nothing of your concern." She said coldly, wishing to go upstairs.

He plunged his hands deep in his pockets. An embarrassed expression on his face "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to me yesterd…"

"I'm angry for what happened to Bill too, but I don't leap at everybody's throat to work off my anger." Tonks cut him short turning, her heart beating faster as her tiredness started to overwhelm her. "it's not me you should apologize to." Her gaze fell upon the letter he was holding in his hand. "What does it mean?"

Her look made the boy shiver. She wasn't angry with him, she was hurt, disappointed. "You have no idea of what it means for me see…"

"I have no idea, eh?" The girl cut him short sarcastically trying not to laugh "If he is so important for you as you say, why are you wasting your time instead of being upstairs with him? "

Charlie looked away "He doesn't want to see me."

"He doesn't want to see you." Tonks repeated frowning "So you have decided to run away." She went on looking him up and down disgusted at the sight of the letter I was holding in his hand "You were right. There is no us. We are at Hogwarts no more. The Charlie I used to know would have never ran away. But you… If I were Bill, I wouldn't let you enter my room."

* * *

"Thank you, Remus."

"For what?" Lupin asked sitting on the grass leaning his back against a tree.

"For asking me to come here." Fleur replied gloomily looking at the ducks swimming in the small lake. "I couldn't spend another minute in that house."

"I did it for me, not for you." the man replied seriously. The smile on her lips remembered him of Tonks. Fleur remembered him of all the fights he had had with Tonks. Andromeda's words still echoing in his ears, humiliating him, his rage still burning in his veins, Lupin closed his eyes to avoid Fleur's.

Seeing him sitting so stiff, it took her less than a moment to understand what he was thinking about. "You shouldn't pa…"

"Please, don't!" Lupin cut her short brusquely. The last thing he needed in that moment was someone trying to comfort him.

His face was pale, there were dark circles under his eyes. Fleur knew that for Remus resting before the full moon was as important as resting after those nights. But the girl knew that instead of resting he had spent the last days trying to find a way to help Bill. She didn't know him well, but he was one of the kindest men she had ever met. He didn't deserve Mundungus' words, he didn't deserve the way Andromeda had looked at him. "Every word she said… she wanted to h…"

"Shut your damn mouth!" he snapped angrily, vehemently, making the girl shake. Then, taking a deep breath, passing his hand over his forehead, Lupin sighed "Sorry Fleur. I'm j…"

Watching him, his head against the trunk, his fingers twisting a couple of blades of grass. She couldn't help but think how hard it was for him being there. Watching Bill and knowing what the boy was going to face…seeing himself in his friend. "I'm happy you are back." Fleur cut him short gently sitting next to him "Without you, Tonks was too quiet. Don't tell her but I have missed even her inclination to crush everything she holds in her hands."

In spite of everything, hearing Fleur, a half-smile turned the corners of his mouth up. He raised his eyebrows, surprised, as the girl covered his hand with hers stopping him.

"You're right. I'm not blind or deaf." Fleur said "I know Molly doesn't like me. She loves to complain about me all day long. But she doesn't know that" She went on cheerfully "I pretend not to understand what she asks me to do only to irritate her. I like watching her trying not to lose her temper."

She was more than just a pretty face, Lupin thought, turning his head towards her. Bill had surely noticed her for her blond hair and bright blue eyes but it wasn't the reason why the boy had asked her to marry him. Perhaps Tonks had always been right. He was so self-centred that he couldn't see what was happening around him. Fleur was not so different from him. No matter how hard she had tried, Molly had never taken into consideration the idea of accepting her in her family until a week ago. Nobody had ever intervened on Fleur's behalf or tried to comfort her. "I'm starting to understand why Bill loves you."

" 'Cause I'm beautiful?" replied the girl joking, tossing her golden hair.

Her thrilling laugh was contagious, and he couldn't help laughing back. Then after a couple of seconds, he asked "It is worth it, isn't it?

She smiled sunnily "It's always worth it."

"What's worth it?" Tonks asked walking towards them.

"Nothing." The French girl answered promptly blinking at Remus "Well…I should go back home. Maybe Bill will ask for me." She went on squeezing the man's hand for a second before standing. "Or I could slice the peppers Molly asked me to chop." She added laughing.

Tonks watched Fleur walking on the path towards the house for a couple of seconds, perplexed. "Did I miss something?"

"No." he replied shaking his head, clasping her hand and guiding her on the grass needing to feel her next to him "But I could have missed you."

She raised her eyebrows "Could?"

His smile widened reaching his eyes "I have undoubtedly missed you."

"That sounds much better." She beamed, cuddling at his side leaning her head against his shoulder, trying to empty her mind. The meaning of the letter Charlie was holding in his hand was making her blood boil in her veins. But she was tired, too tired to fight against Charlie, she thought, closing her eyes letting Remus' arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to him. "I can't help but thinking we haven't had a moment for us since your return." She said taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." He replied moving slowly his hand up and down her back, needing to touch her. "I shouldn't have promised to stay here without asking you befo..."

"No. It's not that." Tonks cut him short sweetly "Bill is my friend and Molly and Arthur…well sometimes I wish they were my parents and…" suddenly, feeling his hand stopping, she straightened her back to look at him "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lupin replied feeling a bad taste in his mouth. For a moment, holding Tonks in his arms, he had forgotten about Andromeda, about the contempt in her gaze, the poison in her words.

There was a strange look in his eyes "Are you sure?"

Lupin nodded turning towards the lake.

Tonks looked at him, thoughtfully. If there was a thing, she had learned while she was living in Grimmauld Place it was not to contradict Remus after the full moon night. She still remembered the fights he used to have with Sirius. So she didn't insist. "Do you remember when we used to sit on the steps outside the kitchen?"

Lupin nodded again. When they lived in Grimmauld Place that was one of his favourite spots. He used to sit there every time he needed to think, every time he needed to empty his head from bad news. Then, one morning Tonks had started to follow him. "But we didn't talk much."

"You're wrong…." The girl replied "We used to talk about the weather, about Sirius' improbable carrier as cook…we used to talk about everything and nothing. And for a moment I could forget about the Ministry, I could forget the reason why we were there. I needed that," she continued bending her legs, putting her arms around her knees, "and I never had the chance to thank you before."

"Thank me?" Lupin asked puzzled turning towards her again. It was the second time someone was thanking him that day. "Thank me for what?"

"You have never chased me away." Tonks answered smiling, starting to play with a leaf. "Even if you didn't like me."

"Well…Why do you think I didn't like you?" he replied brushing away his hair from his eyes "I have to admit that the first time I met you I thought you were too young, too careless, too noisy to be a member of the Order. I couldn't even understand why Moody and Dumbledore had asked you to join us."

"I'm happy to know you thought that of me, Remus." Tonks replied sarcastically jostling him lightly "But at least it means that I was wrong." She went on nesting her head against his shoulder again. He was so warm, so comfy she thought yawning "For weeks I thought you hadn't even noticed I was there."

"As if it was possible not to notice you! I've lost the count of the times I had to draw the curtains to silence the portrait of Sirius' mother or put the umbrella stand back after you had tripped over it." Remus said back with a smile, his fingers running through her hair. "As if it was possible not to notice a purple-haired whirlwind. " he went on, his gaze so focused on the small sparkling A on her uniform that he lost the amused expression lingering on her face for a couple of seconds. If Dumbledore hadn't told it to him, if he hadn't seen Tonks fight, he couldn't have ever guessed she was an Auror. There were bags under her bright eyes, Scrimgeour was making the Aurors work too hard, he was putting too much pressure on them. He pressed his lips against the top of her head for a long moment, breathing in the fruity scent of her shampoo then, sighing, he said "But…Why did you start to follow me?" he asked, curious and getting no answer "Love?" he called puzzled by her silence, tilting his head to look at her. His smile reached his eyes as he realized she had fallen asleep. He put his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to him. She turned in his arms and whispering something he didn't understand, she hid her face against his neck, her hand, on his chest, grasping his shirt possessively.

For more than three years Sirius and he had teased James because of the ecstatic expression that used to appear on his face every time Lily sat next to him but now he was sure there was the same silly smile playing on his lips.

* * *

"Are you sure your brother asked for it?"

"Sure."

"He had never liked leeks." Mr. Weasley said back perplexed.

"He wants a leeks omelette with mushrooms." Fred shrugged his shoulders "Dad…" he went on hesitantly, kicking the gravel with the tip of his shoe "do you think the potion mum gave to Bill is working? He seems a little bit overexcited."

"He'll be fine, don't worry." The man answered new deep wrinkles of concern on his forehead. "So…what was I looking for?"

"Mushrooms, dad." The boy said thinking his father had never looked so bewildered "Mum needs the mushrooms."

"Oh, yes!" Arthur nodded moving a bag of potatoes "Why are you still here?" he added as if he had just realized his son was still on the doorsill "Go. Call Remus."

"Lupin?" Fred called walking on the path that led to the pond "Lupin?" he repeated in a low voice, unwillingly. He had no wish to find the werewolf, the boy admitted to himself. He couldn't understand why his brother had refused to see their mother, Charlie, and Fleur and had asked for Lupin. "Remus?"

The sound of steps on the path made Tonks start. "Ouch!" she exclaimed banging her head against something hard "Wha…"

"Dora." Lupin groaned with pain.

Half asleep it took her a couple of seconds to understand where she was and what was happening. "Love…" she said guilty, moving away, watching him, his left hand covering his nose.

"I know Sirius was right when he told me you have a hard head" The man joked in a nasal voice, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "But I didn't think he was referring to this."

"I'm sorry. I'm so clumsy…"

"Only a little bit." The man cut her short sweetly "And I like it." he admitted hiding a grimace of pain behind a smile. "We are here." Remus sighed letting her go, reluctantly.

"Bill wants to talk with you." Fred said appearing on the path.

Lupin raised his eyebrows, his frustrated expression turned into surprised "Did he ask for me?"

"For you" Fred nodded. "and for an omelette."

These words took him by surprise. He hadn't expected it to happen so early. Perhaps he had been wrong, Remus thought. Perhaps Greyback's bite hadn't had a strong effect on Bill. After all, he wasn't an expert on werewolves. "I'll go immediately." He said leaning against the tree to stand on his feet then he stopped and as he had suddenly realized something he bent towards Tonks and planted a kiss on her lips.

"At least they are in a good mood." Fred said watching Lupin disappear between the trees.

The girl shook her head coming to her senses "I'm sorry…What did you say?"

"I said I didn't expect to hear my brother laughing and joking today." Fred replied holding out his hand to help her standing "I didn't expect to see Remus so happy after what happened this morning."

"This morning?" she repeated perplexed, asking herself if she had missed something. "Why? What happened?"

"Your mother was here this morning. She seemed worried about your father." Fred replied puzzled "Didn't Remus tell you it?"

She shook her head.

"I would have done the same. I wouldn't have told it to you." Fred went on "Not after what your mother said."

Tonks' face darkened "What did my mother say?"

* * *

"I didn't expect it to be like that." Bill went on opening the window.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked watching the boy leaning against the windowsill.

"Well…I was afraid." Bill admitted, "I didn't know what to expect and…to be honest, Remus, your words frightened me."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." the man replied studying him, thinking his behaviour was unnatural, he was unusually self-possessed.

"It doesn't matter." the other replied cheerfully "Look at me? I've never felt like that. I won't forget about yesterday easily…" the smile faded for less than a couple of seconds before reappearing on his lips "but today….I could fly back to Egypt without landing to rest."

Lupin looked at the pictures on the walls. Most of them had been shot in Egypt "Do you want to go back to Egypt?"

"Yeah!" Bill answered playing with the hem of the curtain "Well… after the war."

"Of course." Lupin nodded then taking a step to look at the photos he added casually "And Fleur? What does she think about it?"

"Fleur?"

"Did you say it to her?" Lupin went on, his gaze fixed on Bill's reflex in the mirror.

"She will find a job in France." The other one replied, his voice starting to show his agitation "She will forget me."

Watching Bill twisting the hem of the curtain Lupin couldn't help but feel sorry for him "You know it isn't true." he repeated the words Sirius had told him dozens of times "It's not something you can choose for her."

"I don't want to see her! Look at me! Look at my face!" Bill exclaimed turning towards him, "I can't!"

There was a fire burning in his eyes, a fire Lupin had seen thousands of times in his own eyes. It was the fire of his anger, a fire strong enough to devour everything. Bill needed to learn how to control it before it was too late. "Calm down."

"I was calm!" the boy cried out throwing the jug of water against the wall. His breathing so rapid he couldn't get enough air in his lungs, he looked at the broken bits, sadly, tired "Why did you have to do that to me?"

"We are just talking."

"No!" Bill contradicted Lupin, accusingly "I know she asked you to convince me to let her in."

"I'm not trying to convince you to do anything."

"Yes, you are!" Bill replied, "You want me to talk to Fleur an…"

"I'm just saying this is not the right moment to make a choice you may regret." Lupin replied patiently, understanding the potion they had given to Bill wasn't working properly. It hadn't been strong enough or perhaps it had been too strong for him, and now the boy was swinging between excitement and depression without even realizing it.

* * *

"Dad?" Tonks called slamming the main door behind her back "Dad?" she called loudly.

"Dora!" Andromeda exclaimed appearing on the stairs "There is no need for you to shout like that."

Her gaze lingered on her mother for less than a moment "Where is dad?" she asked brusquely.

"He is in the back garden." Andromeda answered disapproving her behaviour but at the same time relieved; Lupin wasn't with her, "What's happened? It's that on your jacket a stain of grass? Nymphadora!" she called irritated seeing her daughter turning her shoulders to her without saying a word.

"Dad!" Tonks called seeing her father sitting on the bench under the tall beech.

A smile appeared on his lips reaching his eyes at the sight of her. After one year, in which Tonks had lived with them, it was hard to get used to her absence. "Hi, sweetheart." He said hugging her than looking at her he added " Your hair, love, they are blue." his heart jumping happily in his chest.

Tonks' smile widened as she nodded. "He asked me to marry him, dad." Tonks said enthusiastically, unable to keep for herself that news. "And I…"

"You said no." Andromeda cut her short joining them. "Tell me you said no, Nymphadora."

The girl turned, her gaze fixed in her mother's eyes, her arms folded "I said yes!"

Andromeda's eyes widened holding total anger; her lips tightened in a single line "You can't do that."

"I don't need your permission!"

"This is your fault!" Andromeda turned towards Ted "I told you to chase him away…but no! You had to invite him enter this hous…"

"Love, don't you see that she is hap…"

"Oh, Ted, please." Andromeda snorted "Don't be so naïve. You know it won't work. Those like him, they don't hav…"

"Those like him? You have no idea of who he is!" Tonks raged, catching the allusion in her mother's words "What did you say to him?"

"He's a werewolf! And it is enough to me." the woman replied sternly, folding her arms "I've just remembered him his place."

"He is a man! He is the man I love!" Tonks raised her voice angrily "But you don't care about it, do you?" she went on accusatorily pointing her index against her. "You're afraid of what people could say knowing your daughter is sleeping with a werewolf. You are afraid I'll drag our family name in the mud." A fierce light in her eyes as she looked up and down at her in disdain "I don't understand what dad saw in you. You're no more than your crazy sist…" her mother's slap cut Tonks out of words.

"Don't you dare say that again, Nymphadora. Don't you!" She hissed sharply, narrowing her eyes, meeting her angry gaze.

"Dora!" Ted exclaimed astonished and disappointed by his daughter's behaviour. "Follow her and say her you're sorry!" he said sternly watching his wife, paler than a ghost, walking away, her back so straightened and stiff that it seemed to be about to break "Now!"

Tonks raised her chin "Promise me you won't go to Diagon Alley, dad. Promise me you will keep away from isolated streets after the sundown, that you won't talk to strangers."

"What are y…"

"Rita Skeeters is right. Things are changing for the worst." She cut him short turning towards him "There are lots of worried, angry people and…" she sighed hugging him tight "Promise me you'll take care, dad."

* * *

"It is madness, Remus." Arthur whispered shaking his head "You can't be seriou…"

"It's the only way." Lupin cut him short calmly "They know me, they trust me and I c…"

"You don't know what happened after that night." The other replied seriously concerned about his friend's plans "Perhaps you are right. Maybe one year ago they used to trust you but now…What if they know you have been spying on them?"

"They will understa…"

"You betrayed them!" Arthur exclaimed heatedly, raising his voice, catching everybody's attention on them.

"Everything ok, dad?" George asked worried and perplexed at the same time."Is Bi…"

"Your brother is sleeping. He'll feel better tomorrow, don't worry." Arthur nodded forcing himself to sound reassuring then he turned again to look at Lupin trying to calm down "This is the worst idea I've ever heard, Remus. And there is no need for you to do it. Tonks told me your fath…"

"I'll talk to him tomorrow." Lupin said "But he is no expert. Dumbledore helped him to find a potion that could work for me and it took them years. This ti…"

"I know you promised to do your best to help Bill. And I'm sure that talking with you he'll learn how to control himself. But Remus he'll be fine in a couple of days. And I can't let you put your life in danger for…"

"A couple of days can be an eternity." Lupin replied sadly knowing what was happening inside of Bill's mind. "I'm not doing it only for your son. I have to do it for me." He went on frankly "We are stuck. The Order is stuck. We can't wait and hope to discover the Death Eaters' plan just keeping watching on Malfoys Manor."

Arthur squirmed uncomfortably in his chair, embarrassed "Did you hear Mundungus? They won't trust your word."

"They don't need to know I'm the informer." Lupin said back shrugging his shoulders.

* * *

There sound of the fire crackling and spitting in the fireplace, the sight of her sons and Fleur sitting on the carpet playing a game of Exploding Snap was somehow reassuring but it wasn't enough for Molly to forget about the silence coming from Bill's room. She stood up to take another ball of wool from the basket on the shelf when she saw the girl. A dark silhouette in the shadow, looking through the window.

"Hestia?" said the woman reaching her in the yard.

"Oh?" exclaimed the girl blinking a couple of times as if Molly's voice had caught her by surprise "Hi, Molly."

"What are you doing?" Mrs. Weasley asked, perplexed.

"I…" the girl replied hesitantly averting her gaze, her cheeks flushing "Is George ready?"

"He is in his room. Come inside" the woman replied thinking there was something strange in Hestia's behaviour "I'll go upstairs and call him."

Seeing the woman gesturing her to enter Hestia froze, her gaze turning to the window again, inadvertently "I prefer to wait here."

Molly frowned, puzzled. Her eyes opened wide while asking herself the reason for Hestia's refusal to enter. Then, she understood. "Tell me it's not because of Rem…"

"I'm sorry, Molly." The girl cut her short, clearly feeling ill at easy "But Mundungus is right. If Lupin had told us what was about to happen nothing of th…"

"He didn't know Greyback's plans." The woman replied incredulously "You can't believe he betrayed us!"

"The only thing I know is that Lupin is a werewolf." Hestia said back, firmly holding her opinion, darting at the man who was talking with Arthur. As if he had heard his name Remus raised turned towards the window. His eyes met Hestia's for a moment before the girl looked away. "He is not like us. Why should he fight at our side against those of his kind? The people around him die. Potter, Sirius…even Dumbledore." She went on without giving the other time to say anything "I can't stop thinking Mundungus is right. What if Lupin is here to spy on us? And after what happened to your son I can't believe you let him come he…"

"Remus has nothing to do with what happened to Bill." Molly replied vehemently, making clear nothing would ever make her change her mind about the man.

"I'm sorry." Hestia shook her head "But he is one of them and I don't trust him. Tell George I'm waiting at the gate."

Watching Hestia walking on the path his heart sank in his chest. Even if he hadn't been able to hear their conversation, the way the girl had looked at him left him no doubt about the reason for her action. "Perhaps you're right." Lupin broke the silence, sadly "This is crazy."

"Remus, I…"

"It's ok, don't worry." The werewolf cut him short calmly "They said nothing about me only because of Dumbledore but now…" He sighed passing his hand over his face, tired "No matter what I could discover, no matter who will tell them the news, they will ignore them, they will think it is a trap." He went on standing "After all these years I should have learnt this lesson. A werewolf will never be more than a cruel, vicious monster."

"Remus, you know it is not t…"Arthur tried to reply putting his hand on his arm to keep him

"I'm sorry." Lupin cut him short again freeing himself "I'll wait until Bill will feel better and the…"

"And Tonks? You can't d…"

"I can't do it to her." Lupin completed the sentence for him.

* * *

Her fingers brushing against the small box in her right pocket, Tonks couldn't believe she was about to do it. Since Remus had asked her to marry him, that thought had never left her mind and even if she, unlike Fleur, had never shown much interest in dresses, hairstyles and accessories Tonks had to admit to herself that listening to Molly and Fleur talking about wedding's dresses she had started to imagine herself wearing one of those white dress.

But a dress, a party were worthless details.

The awareness of her actions growing in her mind. She had chosen him over her family, over her work, she realised. If Scrimgeour had known about Remus, he wouldn't have thought about it two times before firing her. She had chosen him over everything she had had. And it had been the best choice she had ever taken even if it meant she had not even a house where to go. The only thing she wanted was Remus and she had no intention to wait another day, another hour.

The latest Hobgoblins' song was playing on the radio when she opened the Burrow's main door. Despite everything, hearing Charlie singing softly a smile lit up her eyes. Her friend had always been unable to sing in tune, but it had never stopped him from singing.

He was winning, she thought, looking at the two guys on the carpet playing a game of cards, so intend in playing they didn't notice her.

Thinking Remus had to be in the Kitchen with Molly and Arthur, she was about to leave the room when she saw him sitting at the table in the dim light, his gaze fixed on a map.

Strangely enough to surprise herself, the girl reached the table without being noticed. "What are you looking at?"

The sound of her voice made Remus hold his breath. That was the moment he had feared, the moment he had longed for. "Dora." He whispered closing his eyes for less than a moment, feeling her hands on his shoulders.

"Hi love." the girl replied cheerfully letting her hands slide down on his chest as she leant over him to look at the map.

His heart began to race in his chest. Before knowing Tonks, he had never thought someone could call him 'love'. She was so close he could breathe in the fruity scent of her shampoo, feel the warmth of her body, the softness of the skin of her cheek. But Andromeda's words, the way Bill and Hestia had looked at him, were still cutting deep inside of him. Invisible hands tying him up at that chair, choking him; unable to move, to talk.

To absorbed in the map she didn't notice his reaction but as soon as she recognized a name on that old parchment a shiver ran down her back "Why are you studying a map of Northumbria?" she asked in a high-pitched voice.

Leaving Grimmauld place he had almost destroyed Tonks' life with his own. But coming back… What if Andromeda was right? What if he was asking her more than he had the right to? Her family, her friends…? Lupin asked to himself, his mind about to split in two. He turned to look at her, ready to tell her all about his doubts and fears but as soon as he met her eyes something stopped him. "Nothing important." He lied and knowing the reason for the fear in her eyes, added "I've no intention to leave you, Dora."

"Liar!"

Hearing that word both of them turned towards the centre of the room.

"You're a liar." Charlie repeated fiercely, tossing the cards on the carpet and standing "I heard you talking with my father an…"

Lupin folded his arms, slightly annoyed with him for having heard a conversation that was supposed to be private "You misunderstood my wor…"

"I misunderstood nothing!" the boy cut him short, arrogantly "I know what I heard and if you don't have the cour…"

Tonks raised her eyebrows, her gaze moving from Remus to Charlie to Remus again, puzzled, "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. It's just a mis…"

"He wants to join the werewolves again." Lupin and Charlie said at the same time.

The allusion Remus could leave her again was enough for her knees to start trembling. "You're joking." The girl snorted, baffled by Charlie's behaviour "I don't know what's happening to you, but this isn't funny."

"Joking?" the boy replied ironically "Have you ever heard about a relationship between a werewolf and a witch or a wizard?" He asked griming and without giving Remus or her the chance to say anything he went on "How can you be so blind? He'll run away. He has been running away all his life long. Those like him are not able to have a fam…"

"Enough!" Lupin exclaimed getting furious. He was tired of people telling him who he was and what he could do or have. "What's wrong with you?"

Charlie raised his chin defiantly "I do…"

"Your brother almost died? Are you afraid of what will happen to him? Are you tired? Is your word falling apart?" Taking a step forward Lupin silenced him "You know. It doesn't matter. I don't care a damn about it!" He took another step towards him pointing his index at him "Do you want to insult me, to humiliate me for being someone I didn't choose to be? Well, take a number and join the others!" His heart racing in his chest, the adrenaline running in his vein, clouding his mind, deafening him. "But you know nothing of what it means to be someone like me, and I won't let a boy judge my choices!"

Hearing the shouting Molly and Fleur ran from the kitchen "What's happening?" asked Molly shocked; she had never seen Remus losing control of himself before.

"I'm leaving." The man replied darting at Charlie one last time.

"Remus," Molly stopped him on the doorsill scowling at her son "whatever happened, I'm sur…"

"Bill will be fine in a couple of days. He doesn't need my help." The man said brusquely freeing himself from her hold.

* * *

The door creaked on its hinges as Tonks opened it bringing the sound of cheering voices and laughs inside the room with her. "Sorry it took me so long to get back to you." she said carrying a small paper bag "Apparently, the kitchen is closed. And it was impossible to find something to eat…" she continued putting the content of the bag on the small writing desk near the window " except these Tesco's sandwiches."

"You can have my sandwich." Lupin replied tiredly looking outside the window at the flashing signs on the other side of the street "I'm not hungry."

"Rem…"

"I'm sorry Dora." The man sighed "I shouldn't have brought you there."

"You didn't bring me there. I chose to come with you." The girl replied sweetly, opening the sandwiches' packages, her stomach grumbling "And, just for you to know it, you anticipated my move." she went on coming next to him "I was about to tell Molly I had no intention to share the room with Fleur anymore. She snores extremely loudly, and I can't sleep. I had thought to ask you to share your room with me and I hoped to get a 'yes' as an answer." she added offering him a tuna sandwich "So, as you can see, I had already decided to sleep with you tonight." She smiled and took a bite of her sandwich her gaze moving all around the room "I like this place. It's not like the Leaky Cauldron; gloomy and …"

The last light of the day was giving a deep purple shade at her hair. Her hair, Lupin thought, the first thing he had noticed of her had been her hair; such a strictly contrast to her pale heart-shaped face and dark sparkling eyes. Such a contrast to her black, severe uniform "Why?"

"Well…" the girl replied, "First of all, the furniture didn't smell of mould and th…"

"No." Lupin cut her short "Why did you choose me?" he asked knowing she had understood his question and was now avoiding to answer "I am too old for you, too dangerous...I have nothing to offer you. I have told you that m…"

"Million of times." Tonks completed the sentence for him "and every time you told me that I replied that I don't care." Leaning on the windowsill she took another bite of her sandwich before putting it down and adding "I know what people think of me. I like eccentric clothes and rock music. I'm noisy, bubbly, curious and… a bit clumsy." Seeing him raising his eyebrows at her last words, her smile widened "The Weasley are my friends but I know that when they look at me it is as if they are expecting me to smash a plate or to put sugar instead of salt in the beef stew. Moody and Kingsley think I'm a good Auror but I know that they are asking themselves if I'm not too clumsy to carry on a mission. I don't need them to tell it, I've learnt to recognize those glances but you…" she went on brushing away the hair from his temple "I've never read those thoughts in your eyes, Remus. So, do you want to know why I started to follow you in the backyard?" she asked, her index's fingertip slightly brushing against the scar cutting his left brow "You have never made me feel I was too young, eccentric, clumsy…You have never made me feel I wasn't enough to be a member of the Order."

Remus' eyes opened wide. He had never thought Tonks was paying attention to what the others were thinking about her. "Dora, I…"

"But, more than anything, I started to follow you 'cause I enjoyed annoying you." she cut him short laughing "It was so funny watching you pretend you didn't prefer reading your books instead of answering my questions about Sirius."

"Yo…mmm" his reply turned into a moan as she pulled him closer to her covering his mouth with hers.

He had never kissed anyone except her. He had not even thought about kissing anyone before knowing Tonks, Lupin realised feeling Tonks passing her arm around his neck keeping him closer.

His heart started to pump faster. His hands stiff at his sides as if he didn't know what to do with them, he didn't want to do something wrong, but he wanted, he needed to do something. He had been waiting so long for her to enter his life. He had been waiting all his life long. Dreaming about kissing her, longing to touch her. And now he couldn't wait any longer. His head was dizzy as if he had been drinking all morning long, but at the same time, his mind was aware of her breathing tickling his cheek of her fingers in his hair, of her hand moving slowly on his chest. He couldn't think clearly when Tonks was so close to him. Her breast raising against his chest every breath she took, her fingers playing with his hair caressing the base of his neck making him shiver. The best thing to do, he suddenly realized, was not thinking at all.

Remus' kisses had always been hesitant as if he was uncertain whether to kiss her or not. He had never kissed her like that before, he had never touched her like that. Tonks thought, melting in his arms, feeling his hands slide down her back, moving up on her sides, caressing her, and down again lingering on her small back. And under his touch her senses seemed to awaken, flames reaching every single nerve of her body, throwing in chaos her mind, making her sighing, longing to feel his fingers on her skin.

The thought that they were alone, that for the first time nobody knew where to find them, that nobody would have come to look for them, began to flash inside Remus' mind like fireworks. His left hand slid down around her waist, firmly grasping her right hipbone, pressing her against him; his other hand unbuttoning her jacket.


End file.
